Second Chances
by stardust2002
Summary: A Kara,Helo fic exploring the relationship between the two of them. Other pairings as well. Spoilers for seasons 1 and 2, light spoilers for season 3, though AU. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

SECOND CHANCES

This is a Kara/Helo fic which will explore the burgeoning relationship between the two of them. Other characters and possible pairings will appear as well, but the main focus is on them. Dedicated to latteaddict who loves Kara/Helo as much as I do. :)

It was as if she'd never left. Almost.

In a way it was almost like going back in time - Pegasus was gone, most of Galactica's old crew was back to work, and the old man had shaved off his moustache. A definite improvement as far as Kara was concerned. Tigh was back as XO though not quite up to full speed yet after the trials the cylons put him through. The Chief and Cally were back to work too, with a civilian helping babysit when needed, and Lee had taken back his old CAG's position. Adama had taken her aside when she'd come back and asked if she wanted to be Lee's assistant but she'd declined, saying she wanted Helo to have a chance to shine. He'd been Galactica's acting XO while Tigh was gone but his heart had always been in his Raptor.

It wasn't the real reason she didn't want to work with Lee, but it had sounded good enough to fool him. Or so she thought. The look in his eyes as he nodded silently told her he knew there was more to it than that but that he had no intention of prying. It was one of the things she respected most about him - his integrity. Something she wished Lee would have inherited more of. At first glance he seemed to exude it, but after getting to know him intimately, she realized it was all just a mask. At least where _she_ was concerned anyway.

No, everything seemed the same as it used to be back in the good old days (since when did the 'good old days' become the first months of retreat from the cylons?), but something was definitely very different. There was a different atmosphere than there had been before. A tenseness, a melancholy that hadn't been there, despite the fact that most people had lost everyone dear to them and were running for their lives. It seemed as if the level of despair now had risen just that much higher since the latest cylon attack on the planet, but people tried to hide it and appear cheerful.

Kara herself was guilty of that as well. She did her job as well as she could and acted though she was happy as could be to be back, but underneath something else had taken root. She tried to avoid Lee as much as possible, knowing how things had been left between them. He could hold a grudge - none better - and she knew he held a big one against her for leaving. She tried throwing herself into work with a passion, hoping to forget about him, and the newest scars that had been inflicted on her body and soul on New Caprica. Not all of them by the cylons either.

"Starbuck." Lee's voice, disapproving as always, interrupted her musings.

She turned her head to face him, eyebrows raised questioningly.

"I need you to look over this list of possible new recruits." He tossed a folder at her, none too carefully.

"I'd love to sir, but I've still got test reports to write up for today's prelims," she answered, a tad acidly.

"When you're done those then," he said, staring flatly at her, as if daring her to refuse.

"It's already after midnight and I have CAP at 0600. Do I get to sleep somewhere in there?"

"If you have time."

"Well, don't blame me if I screw up tomorrow due to lack of sleep."

Lee snorted derisively. "Boy have you gone soft. The Starbuck I _used_ to know would never have complained about no sleep."

She was out of her chair in a flash, standing mere inches from his face. Her fist was balled and her muscles were taut and quivering, ready to strike.

"You going to hit me?" he taunted softly.

Her eyes narrowed. "I'd love to," she bit out nastily. "Hitting superior assholes _is_ my specialty after all."

"Go ahead then." He smiled but it was entirely without mirth. His eyes were hard as steel as he stared her down.

Her mouth tightened as she visibly restrained herself. Taking a deep breath she backed off, grabbed several folders off the table and stalked out of the room, not looking back.

Lee exhaled slowly. He hadn't expected her to back down. That wasn't her style.

"You handled that well."

Lee's head swung around to find the source of the voice.

Helo stood in the opposite hatchway, leaning against the opening on one hip.

Lee looked annoyed."Frak off Helo. It's none of your business."

"Anything that involves Kara _is_ my business," he said firmly but quietly, advancing towards Lee.

Lee's eyes flashed angrily. "You her personal bodyguard now or what?"

Helo chuckled. "No, just a concerned friend."

"Well maybe you shouldn't be poking your nose into something that's not your concern."

Helo soldiered on as if Lee hadn't said a word. "You're pushing her too hard."

Lee blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"You're pushing her too hard," he repeated.

"Is that your professional opinion Lieutenant?" Lee demanded angrily, "or are you going easy on her because she's your friend?"

Helo's eyes narrowed. "Kara pushes herself hard enough - always has - she doesn't need you loading a ton of responsibilities on her. Especially now."

Lee stepped forward a few strides and met Helo's angry gaze.

"She's a soldier Lieutenant. If she wants to be a part of this ship's crew, she's going to have to pull her weight and not be mollycoddled by anyone."

"Do you not understand the pain she's going through right now?" Helo asked, a catch in his voice as his heart constricted, just thinking about her. "What happened on New Caprica ..."

"I know what happened," Lee stated, cutting him off.

"_Do_ you? Do you have any idea now much this is hurting her?"

Lee snorted. " Kara's used to pain. Shouldn't come as anything new to her. Besides, she brought it on herself. No one forced her to go to that damned planet."

Lee knew he was sounding horribly bitter and perhaps even a little jealous, but he couldn't help himself. Even _he_ didn't understand the feelings he got every time he looked at Kara - thought of her even. He'd been angry with her before, plenty of times, but this was different. There was anger for sure, but also sorrow, hurt and something he wasn't even sure he could put a name to. It caused him to feel a knot at the pit of his stomach though, every time he thought of her, and he couldn't help but lash out.

Helo looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "Have you no sympathy man? Don't you know what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you care about?" His arms waved about angrily.

Lee closed the distance between them. He'd never realized the other man was so much taller than he, but he wasn't one to be intimidated.

"Don't talk to me about betrayal," he hissed. "Kara has betrayed _us_ on several occasions. It's time she learned what it feels like."

The two men glared at each other for several minutes.

Helo sighed finally, breaking the spell. "I _thought _you were her friend. Friends forgive and forget. I guess I was wrong." He turned and walked away.

Lee took an involuntary step after him and opened his mouth as if to call him back, but stopped himself. It was late and he had work to do.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Helo shook his head sadly as he walked back to the bunkroom. Obviously Apollo still held a grudge against Kara for stealing off to Caprica, but he didn't understand how he could still be upset with her after all this time. Considering how few survivors there were left, it made no sense to be holding grudges against each other now.

He pushed open the hatch slowly, trying not to wake anyone. Most of the pilots would be sleeping by now and living in such close quarters forced them to be courteous and not intrude whenever possible.

He sat down on the bunk beside Kara. Her reading light was on and she was feverishly writing.

"Kara," he whispered.

"I'm busy Karl." She pushed aside one paper and pulled another from her stack.

He put a hand over hers and took her pen. "Kara, stop."

She gave him an annoyed glance. "I've got work to do. Give me back my pen."

"It's almost 1am Kara, you need to get some sleep."

"I don't have time to sleep." She sighed wearily, rubbing her eyes.

Helo looked intently at her. "You need to get some rest." His tone was gentle and tears began to prick at the backs of her eyes.

"I have things that need to get done before morning shift," she whispered, blinking.

"Forget them. Do them after CAP tomorrow."

" But Apollo will ..."

He laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "You let me deal with Apollo."

She cocked a wary eyebrow at him.

"It's my job after all." He smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Better you than me," she managed to whisper before tears threatened to overwhelm her.

"Get some rest." Helo got up and headed to his locker, stripping off his jacket and tanks in one smooth move. "Goodnight Kara."

"Goodnight," she whispered, eyes involuntarily following his movements. She forced herself out of her bunk, stripped down to underwear and bra and climbed under the covers. She looked anxiously over at him as he closed his locker and he reassured her with a smile, coming over to crawl in beside her. He pulled the blanket over them both and she closed her eyes, a small smile creeping onto her face. For the first time in days she fell into an untroubled sleep.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara began to get the familiar knot in her stomach as she readied herself for landing. She'd had a decent sleep, albeit too short, and hadn't run into Lee before taking off at 0600 but now that it was almost 10 she knew he'd be at work - likely waiting in the hangar bay to supervise the CAP changeover.

Listening to Helo the night before had seemed like a good idea at the time but she wasn't sure it was worth it if she was going to have to face Lee's wrath for having not completed her work.

She took a deep breath and throttled down, knowing she only had another two minutes of grace before facing the music.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee stood waiting. Waiting for Kara to arrive back from CAP. He'd spent a lot of time thinking about what Helo had said to him. _ I thought you were her friend. Friends forgive and forget._ He realized that perhaps holding a grudge was a stupid idea. Yes, she'd ripped out his heart, torn it in two, shredded it and stomped on the pieces but damn it all, he just couldn't seem to hate her, no matter how hard he tried. He wasn't sure what he felt for her was love though. He'd been in love with her before - he was now able to admit that to himself, but he'd realized that the 'happily ever after' he'd sought wasn't in the cards for them. She'd made that only too clear when she'd chosen another man over him. One who hadn't been worthy of her, in his opinion, but he'd kept that opinion to himself and moved on, finding himself another woman who was as different from her as night to day.

Considering how few people there were left in the human race - especially after the last bloodbath, disguised as 'occupation of New Caprica', holding grudges against the few friends you had left really didn't make sense. He'd almost lost his father without ever making things right that way and he didn't want to make that mistake with Kara, should the cylons find them again and something happen to one of them.

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

She slid into a smooth stop in place and immediately powered down and opened her canopy, waiting for the techs to bring the staircase. She hopped out nimbly and began to descend, stopping suddenly on the bottom step as she caught sight of Lee staring at her.

She gulped and grabbed the flight checklist, averting her eyes from his penetrating stare.

"Thanks guys," she murmured to the techs, throwing them a quick smile as she popped her helmet under her arm and walked briskly past Lee.

"Captain Thrace."

She stopped and stiffened. _ Here it comes ..._

"Yes sir?"

"May I see you in my office?"

"Now?"

"You have a better time in mind?"

She looked down. "I've got reports to finish and an evaluation to write that were due about four hours ago."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

She looked up briefly and met his eyes, surprised by the lack of aggression and anger in his voice. Ever since her return to Galactica three weeks previously, she'd been used to the barely disguised hostility he spoke with whenever he addressed her.

"Lead on."

They walked in silence, discomfort growing with every stride. Kara sat in the guest chair across the desk and waited.

Lee shuffled papers and clear his throat nervously.

"About those reports," he began, eyes finally resting on hers.

"I'll have them done as soon as possible. Helo gave me permission to put them off ..." she explained.

"It's okay. I know. As long as I get them by the end of the day."

Kara's eyes widened as she stared into his. Her forehead wrinkled. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure ... I ... um ... I've been giving you too much work lately, and I'm sorry." His cheeks burned. "You deserve a little R 'n' R time."

She was flabbergasted. Had he lost his mind?

"I um ... I ... don't know ... um, I mean, thank you," she said bashfully. "Things have been difficult lately ... you know, readjusting to being here ... and I'm not used to ... being alone." Her eyes dropped to the desk as the lashes began to moisten with tears.

"Is that why you're sharing a bed with Helo?" He could have smacked himself after he uttered the words. As usual his jealousy had reared it's ugly head and pushed empathy and tolerance aside.

Her head flew up and she stared at him defiantly. "Just because Karl and I share a bunk doesn't mean we're sleeping together."

He looked at her as though she were about three years old. "Actually you _are_ ... sleeping together that is."

Kara sighed in frustration. "Okay, we're sleeping together. That doesn't mean we're frakking."

"You expect me to believe that? Come on Kara, I'm not _that_ innocent. When a man and a woman share a bed it's obvious what they're up to."

"I don't expect _you_ to understand," she bit out angrily. "Sometimes people just need someone to _be_ with."

"And that_ being_ has to happen in bed?" he asked, typical sarcasm present.

She stood up quickly, knocking over her chair. "Frak you Lee! I'm tired of trying to make you understand." She threw up her arms in disgust. "Think whatever you want." She spun round and walked out, slamming the hatch shut behind her.

Lee sighed. He'd frakked up with her again. As usual.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second Chances - chapter 2**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee watched out of the corner of his eye as Kara flirted shamelessly with Helo.

They were playing triad with four of the other pilots, joking and laughing like the old days.

Lee had declined to join in the game, stating that he had work to do, but though he pretended to be immersed in his paperwork, in reality he'd spent the better part of the last hour watching Kara. He hadn't seen her this way in a long, long time. Mind you, it had been a long time since they'd had much of a chance to sit back and enjoy life instead of fighting. He hadn't been on New Caprica with her, but from everything he'd heard, it hadn't been pretty.

Tigh had come back a bitter, cynical man - not that he hadn't been before, but now he'd stopped drinking and was, if anything, worse. The Chief and Cally were wary, jumpy in a way neither of them had been before. All the returning crew members were different somehow. He didn't really know any of them well enough to know how exactly, but things just didn't feel right.

Tonight's triad game was the most normalcy he'd experienced so far since the reintegration. Kara, of course, he should have known well enough to be able to understand or at least talk to about the whole situation, but they'd drifted so far apart, even before their year-long separation, that he felt like he hardly knew her at all. It was like he was walking on tacks every time he dealt with her, and one wrong step (which he always took) drove another wedge of pain into their already splintered relationship.

Tonight though, she was Starbuck. Pure, unadulterated Starbuck. The Starbuck he'd known BA - before Anders. Flirty, loud, fun ... and obnoxious.

Lee shifted his gaze to the others at the table. Helo was obviously happy to see Kara enjoying herself. He was playing along, flirting back and egging her card shark superiority on. The others, transfers from the Pegasus, were all infatuated by her. Lee could easily recognize the signs - he himself had been there not so long ago. Because of that, she was winning by a landslide. He knew only too well how difficult it was to concentrate around her, and he felt sorry for them.

His gaze shifted back to her again as Helo bent his head towards hers and whispered something. She looked up at him and smiled, her wide grin as infectious as ever.

As she turned her attention back to the cards, Lee's eyes followed Helo, and he was amazed at what he noticed for the first time. _Helo was in love with her_. Karl Agathon, callsign Helo, former lover of the cylon sleeper agent Sharon Valerii, was in love with Kara Thrace. No, scratch that - Kara _Anders_ Thrace. Anders was dead, killed by the enemy he'd chosen to collaborate with, but still, he _had_ been her husband.

Fascinated (and truth be told, somewhat dismayed) by this new revelation, Lee concentrated solely on Helo, watching his reactions to everything Kara said and did. Now that he saw Helo with different eyes, it was terribly obvious and he wondered how come he'd never seen it before. _Maybe because _you_ were too busy being in love with her_, a voice in his subconscious mind spoke up. He quashed it quickly though - no, he'd never loved her. Been attracted to her physically, found her fascinating, yes. But love? No. He loved Dee, his wife.

She was everything a man was supposed to want from a woman - she was attractive, kind, warm, loving ... and she didn't feel the need to beat him at everything.

He watched, under the guise of work, till the game broke up, and nonchalantly joined Kara at the table once everyone had left.

"So, Starbuck triumphs again," he said lightly, watching her collect her winnings.

"Yup."

"Must be nice to be back among the gullible."

"Yup."

Lee began to feel uncomfortable. He'd hoped she'd have been a little more forthcoming.

"You looked like you were having fun tonight," he tried again.

She faced him squarely. "You got something to say to me?" she said, her tone mildly chilly.

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth but for a few seconds nothing came out.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the other day, okay? I let my mouth get ahead of my brain and I said things I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I know things have been tough between us and I'm sorry about that. I'd like for us to be friends again, if we can. Can you forgive me for being a jerk?"

She waited a moment before answering, eyes searching his.

"You have a brain?" she said slowly, a small grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

The tension dropped from Lee's shoulders almost instantly. He smiled widely at the memory.

"Friends?" he asked shyly.

"Friends," she agreed. "But make sure you think before opening your mouth in future. You sound a lot smarter that way." She grinned widely, then began picking up the rest of her winnings. "I should get going, you know, sleep and all ..."

Lee pointed at the hatchway. "Yeah, I should, you know, get going as well ..."

Kara smiled tightly. "Yes, you've got a wife who's probably wondering where you are."

"Yeah," he admitted, "I should probably go."

"Goodnight," Kara said, as she walked away.

"Oh, one more thing."

She turned and looked back at him questioningly.

"I'd be careful of Helo if I were you. I think he's a little more fond of you than you think he is."

Kara looked stunned for a moment, then she laughed, full and hearty. "Karl? Me? You must be out of your mind Apollo. We're just friends. That's all."

" 'Just friends' don't spend every moment of the day together or sleep in the same bunk," he pointed out.

Kara gave him an exasperated look.

"Hey, I'm not judging," he said, hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying it like I see it. Maybe _you _think you're just friends, but are you sure _he_ sees it the same way?"

"Karl and I have been through some rough times lately. We've been friends for a long time - since before you were around, and we each needed someone to help us through it. No one else understands," she added quietly.

"Maybe if you'd actually_ talk _to someone they would," he said in a low voice.

She shook her head vehemently. "No one else could possibly understand what we've both been through."

He shrugged, knowing it was a losing battle when she threw up her defences like that.

"See you tomorrow." He turned and walked out.

"No one," she whispered. "No one else knows what it feels like." Her eyes filled with tears. She blinked them away harshly and headed for the bunkroom. No need to let anyone see her cry.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

_She struggled vainly against them as they held her down. Her eyes pleaded with him - she was unable to make a sound. When they met his icy blue ones, all she saw was determination._

_Why? she mouthed, trying to force the words from her lips, but still no sound would come. Why? she repeated._

_"It's not so bad Kara. Just give them what they want and they'll let you go afterwards. Then you're free to come back to me."_

_What had happened to him? He wasn't the Sam she'd fallen in love with - the hero who'd have died to save her, or any of his people for that matter. He wasn't the Sam she'd married either - the one who'd sworn to cherish and protect her for the rest of her life. (Not that she'd ever envisioned needing protection.)_

_She was floored, absolutely stunned that he'd give her up to them so easily. But when she searched his eyes, she could see a weariness behind the determination. He was tired of fighting. Well, he wasn't a soldier, he didn't have that 'fight 'em till you can't' mentality like she did. But still, even without it, she knew she would have fought to the death to save someone she loved. It was obvious - he didn't _really _love her._

_She went limp and stopped struggling as they tied her up. She'd given up everything she held dear to be with this man, but he hadn't loved her enough to save her from this fate a second time._

_As one of them spread her legs and began to shove a tube up inside her, she finally found her voice._

_"Sam, please, don't let them do this to me - please ..." She swallowed her pride. "... save me."_

"Kara, Kara, it's okay. You're safe. I've got you."

She woke suddenly and sat up, tears pouring down her face. She felt a warm hand rubbing her back gently. For a moment her heart pounded and she froze, then she recognized her bunk on Galactica and Helo's familiar, comforting touch.

She turned and buried herself in his arms. sobbing silently.

"I know," he whispered, "I know it hurt but it's over now. You're okay, you're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore."

Those words, platitudes that could have been uttered by anyone, had for some reason, much more depth and truth when coming from him. She desperately wished, albeit too late, that he'd have been on New Caprica instead of Galactica during the occupation. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that the horrible things that had happened to her wouldn't have if he'd been there.

He let her cry it out then slowly lay back down, cradling her in his arms.

"Shhh, it's okay," he murmured, one hand still stroking her lower back while the other held her firmly against him, feeling the sharpness of her shoulder blades sticking out of her too-thin body.

New Caprica had been a hellhole, there was no nicer way to put it. People had flocked to it in droves, it being the only habitable planet they'd found yet. But it was only _just_ habitable. Barely. Even after a year they couldn't find enough raw material to build real buildings and growing crops had been a shot in the dark at best.

Kara had been captured, used and abused by the cylons but he could tell that that wasn't all of it. She'd obviously been malnourished for a long time before that, and her skin was only just losing it's unhealthy tinge now, after three weeks back home.

_Bastards!_ he thought. _ Those sons of bitches! We should never have trusted any of them!_ His bitterness rankled when he thought of what they'd done to Kara, and likely many other women as well. _Not even Sharon_, a little voice whispered in his head._ Especially not her. She only used you to get what she wanted. Once it was clear that wasn't happening, she turned, just like the rest of them._

After Sharon had thrown him over and called her people to come rescue her, he'd taken to drinking. More than he should. But then they'd rescued the survivors from New Caprica and he'd given it up as quickly as he'd started, seeing that Kara desperately needed someone to look after her. And knowing her penchant for drowning her sorrows, he knew he had to keep any and all alcohol as far away from her as possible.

Her breathing deepened and she rolled over off him and onto her own side of the small bunk. he closed his eyes, a few tears squeezing out the corners. He'd felt hurt and betrayed by what Sharon had done to him, but it was nothing in comparison to what Kara had suffered at their hands. He wasn't a religious person, but he uttered a prayer of thanks to the gods that she'd come out of it alive, and swore never to let them hurt her again.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee pushed open the hatch gingerly. It wasn't particularly early, but some of the pilots weren't on rotation till later and you never knew when they might be sleeping. He'd searched everywhere for Helo, needing him to discuss the new flight schedule he'd drawn up, but he hadn't been able to find him anywhere. Maybe, just maybe he'd slept in for once.

He stopped, door halfway open and stared. Yes. Helo was still sleeping,_ and Kara was on top of him!_

His heart suddenly bottomed out and dropped right through his stomach to his feet. Sure, there was nothing going on between them - not a chance!

A part of him felt a white-hot surge of jealousy, mixed with a primal desire to take her away from Helo, but another part of him felt shamed by the fact that he still felt this way about her, even after everything that had happened between them. _Not to mention the fact that you have a wife who loves you and would be devastated to find out that you still want her so desperately_, his subconscious nudged.

Feeling like a bucket of cold water had just been dropped on him, he turned and silently walked out.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Second Chances - chapter 3**

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

"You wanna head down to the gym?"

Kara pondered Helo's question sleepily for a moment.

He gave her a playful nudge. "It wasn't supposed to be a tough question you know."

She smiled and elbowed him in the ribs gently. "All questions are tough this time of day," she said.

Helo looked at his watch. "What? It's 06:45?"

"Yeah I know, that's the problem," Kara said. "I could be sleeping still."

He shrugged. "You can go back to sleep if you want to, I just thought since you were awake and I was going ..."

"No it's okay," she answered, climbing out of the rack and stretching. "I usually get up and go for a run if I wake up this early anyway. I might as well go work out before I hit the showers."

"Race you to the gym?" he suggested, eyes twinkling at her.

She zipped up her sweatshirt and gave him a provocative grin. "So what does the winner get?"

"An extra cup of coffee?"

"I'm there," she said quickly, and she flew past him, nearly crashing into the hatch in her haste to get the wheel open.

"You can't beat me Kara," he taunted, racing past her.

"Wanna bet?" she called after him, pouring on the speed suddenly. She felt surprisingly alive for having gotten so little sleep, and her body responded eagerly to her ego's desire to beat him. She drew level with him and laughed at his chagrined expression.

"Come on Karl, don't tell me you can't even beat a _woman_?" she teased, running past him, but still looking backwards to see his face.

Suddenly she hit something and bounced back, hitting the bulkhead and falling heavily to the ground. For a moment the world spun and the edges of her vision began to grey.

She shook her head and blinked, hearing voices.

"Are you okay?" That was Helo's worried voice as he knelt beside her, feeling her scalp for bumps.

"Good morning. Whaddaya hear Starbuck?"

She looked up and her eyes focused on Adama's face, amusement and concern jockeying for position on it.

"Bells ringing in my head?" she offered, smiling weakly.

He smiled - she was okay. He, on the other hand was slightly bruised. _Not quite as young as I used to be_, he thought ruefully, already feeling his shoulder begin to stiffen where she'd glanced off it.

"No bumps, probably no concussion," Helo announced proudly.

"Shall we start calling you 'Doctor Agathon' or would you prefer 'Doc Helo'?" she teased, standing up.

"Very funny."

"So where are the hounds of hell?" Adama asked.

"Huh?" Two confused faces stared at him.

"You were running like the hounds of hell were behind you. I was just wondering where they were." His eyes twinkled merrily. He could never resist an opportunity to tease Kara; it was something he'd missed when she was planetside.

"Kara_ is_ the hound from hell," Helo said, taking off like a shot, his laughter ringing behind him.

"You little bas ..." She stopped, realizing she was about to swear directly in front of Adama. "You know I'll kick your butt once I catch you," she yelled after him instead.

"He's such a pain in the ass," she said, turning to face Adama and smiling. "Oh, sorry sir, I didn't mean to ..."

"That's okay. I've got thirty years on you - it's not like I haven't heard that word before."

She blushed.

"Besides, I've heard the phrase used many a time in the last four years, usually in reference to _you_ though."

She smiled eagerly. "Really? I guess I'm doing my job then."

He clapped her on the shoulder affectionately. "That you are girl. That you are."

They grinned at each other and Kara felt her heart warm several degrees. Gods, she'd missed this man. Rarely had anyone understood her the way he did.

"So how are you doing?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Oh fine. My head isn't ringing anymore."

"I meant in general. Since returning from New Caprica."

Shadows masked her usually laughing hazel-green eyes, and her smile lost some of it's radiance.

"Okay I guess." She shrugged. "It's a little harder to fit in after being away so long ..."

"And about Samuel?"

She looked down at the ring she still wore, now on the same chain as her dogtags.

He sensed the confusion within her as she struggled with how much to reveal of herself.

Finally she looked up and met his eyes. "There's a part of me that will always love him despite what he did," she said softly. "But there are times when I just want to hit myself over the head for being so blind I didn't notice what was going on."

"You were in love," he said gently," and love is blind. That's part of it's charm. If we always saw each other's faults, we'd never allow anyone close to us."

"I suppose," she whispered, eyes dropping back down.

"Love is not seeing the other person's faults, loving them though they're not perfect and forgiving wherever it's needed. In time you'll reach forgiveness. It's just hard when someone hurts you so deeply."

She looked up at him quizzically. "How did you get so knowledgeable when it comes to love?"

"I'm a big fan."

Now the look on her face was one of pure disbelief. She knew his track record with women.

"Didn't say I was _good _at it, just that I'm a fan."

She laughed, happiness creeping back into her eyes.

"Off you go. You've got a young man waiting for you and it's never a good idea to make them wait too long," he teased.

"Oh, it's just Helo, no one special," she said, breaking into a jog. "Have a good day sir."

"You too," he said, but she was already too far away to hear. "_Just _Helo hmm?" he murmured to himself. He'd seen the look Helo had given her when he thought she was seriously hurt, and seen the playfulness and closeness they obviously shared. _Just like with Lee,_ he thought reflectively._ I always wondered about the two of them ... never did manage to make it work out though._

And he kept on walking, thoughts very distant from the duties he was supposed to be focused on.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"What took you so long?" Up, down, up, down. Helo was doing situps on the bench when she arrived at the gym some ten minutes later.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "The Admiral was just in a chatty mood. You know."

"Uh huh." He stopped and stared at her as she took off her sweatshirt and swung herself up onto the horizontal bar and began to do chinups.

The Admiral was never chatty with him. Never really had been, and certainly not after their mutual experiences with Sharon. He wondered, though he'd never be so forward as to ask, exactly what he was chatting about with her.

"You both okay? No permanent damage to either of you?"

"Don't ... think ... so," she answered between pulls. "Twenty eight ... twenty nine ..."

"Guess no one would notice for you anyway," he teased, "what with all the other brain damange."

She glared at him in mock anger. "Forty. Forty one ... forty two ..."

He sat up and lifting free weights, not really counting though, knowing when she was done she'd want help with her bench presses.

" ... forty nine ... fifty!"

She dropped back down panting, and bent over double, sweat beads beginning to form on her forehead.

"Morning sunshine." He smiled at her.

She glared at him for real this time. "Spot me?"

"Of course."

He moved to her head and lifted the dumbbell off it's resting bar and handed it to her, making sure his hands were right below her arms to catch it should she let go.

As she raised and lowered it, counting through clenched teeth, his fingers brushed her upper arms feather-softly. Up, down, up, down ... his hands traced her arm's movements, setting off chills inside her as they touched.

"Okay. I'm done," she panted, after sixteen reps.

"That's all?" Helo asked, grabbing the dumbbell from her and placing it back in it's holder.

She sat up and held her side where a stitch was forming. "It's been a while since I came here regularly. I've got to ease into it." She smiled and stood up. "We should probably hit the showers."

"You're right. We're on duty soon. Let's go." He slung an arm companionably around her shoulders as they walked side by side down the corridors.

Kara tried not to think about what she'd felt just now with him. _We're friends, nothing more, _she told herself. _All it was was his hands tickling a sensitive spot. _She refused to believe there was anything more to it than that.

"You're just giving me an excuse," Helo said, breaking into her thoughts.

"Excuse for what?" she asked, puzzled.

"For why you wanted to quit early."

She glared at him.

"You're just being a wimp." He grinned, knowing well how to rile her up.

"Am not!"

Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too." His grin widened. He loved teasing her - she was so much fun when she was angry.

"Am not!" She gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs.

"Ouch! Just because _you_ got injured this morning doesn't mean you have to hurt me too," he whined.

"Who got injured?"

They'd turned a corner and nearly run straight into Lee. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

"It was nothing," Kara said modestly.

"Nothing at all." Helo dropped his arm back down to his side, noting Lee's glare at it's position on Kara's shoulders.

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" he asked. "Will it affect your ability to fly?"

Kara sighed loudly. "I collided with your father in the hallway earlier. Gave my head a good bang on the wall but I'm fine now. You should probably check with him to see if _he's _okay." She chuckled, thinking of him bumped and bruised thanks to her.

Lee nodded. "You two are on CAP in forty minutes right?"

They both nodded.

"We'll be there," Kara assured him.

"Just hitting the showers first," Helo added cheerfully.

"Carry on then," Lee said stiffly. "I'll see you on the flight deck."

He continued walking a scowl gracing his otherwise handsome face as he thought about what he'd just seen. He was more convinced than ever that something was going on between those two. And if it wasn't yet, it soon would be.

"Race you to the showers," he heard Helo's voice call out distantly, followed by gales of laughter and quick, thumping footfalls as they began to run.

" ... winner gets the corner shower ..."

Lee sighed as their voices drifted out of his hearing. He knew he was a lucky man, but there were times he couldn't help but miss the days when_ he_ was the one teasing and flirting with Kara.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee stared at the dradis screen with thin-lipped disapproval. For two hours now he'd been in CIC listening to the CAP chatter, listening to them flirting. It didn't matter that Hotdog was out there with them, he obviously wasn't 'getting' what was going on. He threw in the odd comment but the banter and innuendo was all between Kara and Helo.

" ... of_ course_ I'll be at the game tonight. You don't think I'd miss an opportunity to kick your ass do you?"

"You're_ sure_ that's what you want?" Helo sounded surprised, but yet now somehow. In fact Lee could detect the hint of a smirk in his voice.

Her confusion came across clearly. "Why wouldn't I? I've done it many times before."

"Kiss my ass? No, I'm pretty sure you haven't - I know I'd remember_ that_."

"KISS your ass? I said KICK!"

"Are you sure? I could have sworn you said kiss - and you had me looking forward to losing for once." Everyone in CIC could hear Helo's grin this time.

Lee scowled at his father, who had a suppressed grin trying to escape.

"Do we_ have_ to listen to this? I mean, can't we tell them to get serious and quit the useless chatter?"

Dee glared at him, knowing exactly why it was upsetting him. Hers was the only face besides his that was clearly 'not amused'.

"That used to be_ you_ and Starbuck. And I let you get away with it, why shouldn't I let them?" Adama asked.

Lee fidgeted but didn't answer.

"Lighten up. The cylons are gone for now and they've suffered enough. Allow them a little fun will you?"

Lee's ears reddened. "Fine," he mumbled, turning away.

" ... of course if you want me to kiss your ass, I'm sure we could throw that in as a bet later," Kara taunted.

"Can we do the same for you?" Hotdog sounded way too eager and Adama, along with most of CIC burst out laughing.

"Fine." Kara's obvious pride and embarrassment came through loud and clear as she spoke. "The overall winner tonight gets to kiss _my_ ass. Happy now?"

"YES!"

Even Kara laughed at Hotdog's enthusiasm this time. Tonight sounded lit it was going to be fun, and she was now eager for the day to be over. Teasing and flirting were two of her favourite activities and from the sounds of things, she was going to have a very willing group of victims.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Second Chances - chapter 4**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"Your bid Starbuck."

She glared at Hotdog from behind her fanned out cards, telling him without words to shut up.

He got the message and flushed, burying his head back in his cards.

"Twenty cubits," she said slowly, flicking the required coins into the centre of the table flawlessly. Her face was grim as her eyes scanned the table to see who was willing to call.

Lee watched her narrowly, whilst appearing to be engrossed in play. He'd traded CAP shifts and made excuses to Dee in order to be at the game. He had the feeling she wasn't buying his excuses but since he outranked her she had little choice but to let him go.

"Too rich for my blood," one of the newer pilots said, throwing down his cards.

"Aw come on Bluebeard," with stakes like _this_?" Helo teased. "Starbuck's ass is on the line - literally." He broke out in laughter at Kara's pouty face. He loved teasing her.

Bluebeard - so named because of the earring he'd worn before joining the military that had left a hole in his left ear, blushed.

"While I like a nice ass as much as the next guy ..."

"Nice? You think my ass is just 'nice'?" Kara demanded. "It's the best," she added proudly, smirking at the rest of the guys.

"I've no doubt," Lee said dryly, before he could stop himself. His hand still pulsed with the memory of the one time he'd had it down her panties and even just the thought of it made him warm - everywhere.

"Well if you lose you'll get to find out Apollo," she said, a trifle acidly, throwing him a quick glance before turning back to smile at Helo.

He didn't miss the tension suddenly flowing through the room and though Kara had never confided anything regarding her and Lee to him he felt certain_ something_ had passed between them at one time. Something they were both resentful about, particularly Lee. His eyes were narrow and glittered like ice whenever he looked at Kara. It made Helo uneasy.

"We're letting ourselves get distracted here folks," he said. "Apollo, it's your call."

Lee glanced at him and their eyes met for a brief second. "I call," he said in a chilly voice, pushing forward his coins.

"Well that's more like it," Helo smiled. "I'm in too."

Kara smirked at the two men. "Hotdog? You willing?"

Hotdog glared at her. "Frak! For once I have a fabulous hand - well, fabulous for me, and it does me no good."

"So, you'll win the pot then. Can't sneeze at that," Helo said.

"Yeah, but that's not the prize I was hoping to get," Hotdog pouted in a whiny voice, throwing down his cards. "My hand's good, but it ain't good enough to win. I'm out."

"So there just the three of us left then huh?" Helo said with a big smile.

Kara smirked at the two men. "You like to live dangerously don't you?"

"Danger is my middle name," Helo stated, trying to keep a straight face.

Kara laughed out loud. "Danger?_ You_? Come on Karl, who had to come save your ass on Caprica?"

He elbowed her gently. "As I recall, it was _your_ ass that needed saving from those humanoid toasters. And _I _was the hero."

She laughed and leaned against him, head tucking into his shoulder for a moment. Then she became playful again.

"Well if you want to kiss said ass you'd better have a terrible hand there buddy. Worse than usual."

He looked at her and made a mock surprised face at her audacity. "Okay, that's it," he said, trying hard not to smile as he dropped his cards and lunged towards her, grabbing her around the middle and beginning to tickle her unmercifully.

She leaned away quickly, shrieking with laughter as his fingers connected with one of her many ticklish spots, knocking the chair over and falling heavily onto the floor, Helo now on top of her.

"Stop! Stop!" she yelled as Helo pinned her down with powerful legs and let his fingers roam around her torso, digging in whenever she wriggled more vigorously beneath him.

"Not till you take it back." he grinned mischeviously, fingers still busy.

She writhed wildly as his fingers hit 'the spot' on her ribcage that drove her wild.

"Karl, stop it please!" she begged, gasping for breath between gales of laughter.

He kept at it though, digging in deeper as she struggled against him, laughter rocking his large frame as well.

It wasn't till Lee cleared his throat to get their attention that the wild activity on the floor ceased.

"Are we going to finish the game?" he asked, a sarcastic note in his voice. "Because I can leave if you two want to be alone."

Suddenly Helo realized what Lee meant and he flushed instantly. In Kara's desperate movements to evade the tickling, her tanks had ridden up most of the way so her bra was visible. His hands were holding her rib cage, one partially covering a breast.

He pulled away as if burned and stood up, clearing his throat in embarrassment.

Kara stood as well, pulling her tanks down and her pants, which had ridden dangerously low, back up to meet each other. Her cheeks flushed a deep pink.

"Right the game," she said self-consciously, pulling her chair upright and sitting down. "This is all your fault," she said to Helo, grinning impishly as she poked him in the side.

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

Lee watched as they bantered back and forth, observing Kara closely. Her smile was wide and genuine and her eyes sparkled with happiness, pupils dilated till they looked nearly black. If he didn't know better he'd have thought she was flirting with Helo.

His eyes drifted downwards - as they often did. Her chest was flushed to match her cheeks and her nipples poked through the triple layers of tanks and bra she wore. He felt a rush of desire spike through him, followed by a flood of regret. This was how she used to look when playing games with _him._ Now her attentions were elsewhere, whether she was conscious of it or not. _And you're married - remember that Lee_, he told himself. _You swore to forsake Kara, no matter what it is she does to you, and be faithful to your wife._

"So we're all in, what have you got Starbuck?" he asked, trying to pull things back on a safer track.

"Three on a run," she said proudly, displaying her cards with a flourish.

"Damn," Helo said, grinning. "You beat me again."

"Yeah, but even if I get the money, you get to kiss my ass. That's more than a fair trade, don't you think?" she smiled sweetly.

Laughter erupted from across the room.

"What are you laughing at Hotdog? You didn't even make it past the second round. And what are you still doing here?"

"Come on Starbuck, I couldn't leave before finding out which lucky guy gets to kiss your ass could I?"

"So you could go back to your bunk and dream about it being you?" Helo asked, grinning.

"Shh! Don't tell everyone my secret fantasies," Hotdog laughed.

"It's not like we don't all know you're hot to get in Starbuck's pants," Lee said wearily._ Since you're obviously one of the few who hasn't made it there yet,_ he added mentally.

Helo laid down his cards. "I got two pair."

Lee's eyebrows rose almost comically. "Looks like I'm the lucky one then doesn't it?" he said dryly, laying down his pair.

Helo looked from Lee to Kara and back again, not liking the look that passed between them.

"So, you gonna claim your prize?" Hotdog asked eagerly, standing up. The others followed suit and Kara began to gather the stack of coins from the table into her hands.

"Don't sound so eager Hotdog. It's not like she's going to show it off in a public place," Helo chided.

His face fell.

"Besides, haven't you ever seen me in the showers? We're all naked at one time or another," Kara laughed, but her cheeks began to burn.

Hotdog blushed as well. "Not up _close._"

Helo cleared his throat. "Speaking of showers, I'm going to head that way before I hit my bunk. No point in showering before a shift and I've got the early one tomorrow."

Hotdog clapped him on the shoulder - probably the only other pilot tall enough to reach easily.

"See you tomorrow buddy."

"Later," Helo smiled at him. "See you guys," he called back to Lee and Kara. "Don't have_ too_ much fun."

Lee caught the warning tone in the other man's voice, despite the fact that he appeared to be teasing them.

"Don't worry, we won't."

Kara frowned. Tension was definitely building here but it wasn't between her and Lee - which was highly unusual. She let it go though and stood still, waiting for Lee to make the first move.

He didn't.

"So?" she asked, a few minutes into the silence. "You want your prize?"

He spun to face her, expression carefully guarded. "I'm not sure you really want me to answer that," he answered quietly.

She stared him down steadily. _Once upon a time I would have_, she thought. _Now? ... probably not._

"Besides, I don't think my _wife _would like it."

Kara flinched at the word. He may not have meant it as a barb, but it wounded all the same. Then again, this was Lee. He probably_ had_ meant it. He seemed to enjoy wounding her.

"You wouldn't want to upset her now would you?" she said, desperately trying to control the shaking in her voice and maintain a normal composure.

They stared at one another for a minute, the air charged with things unsaid.

"I'm going to take a shower and hit the sack too," she said finally, exhaling loudly. "See you tomorrow, _sir_." She stalked out of the room, hatch clanging shut loudly behind her.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Helo stood under the shower spray, facing the tap so no one passing could see him struggle with his erection.

When he'd first stepped into the water it had been cool, welcoming. But as it heated, so had his body. Thoughts of Kara half-naked, his hands exploring the curves of her very feminine body kept plaguing him. As his hands rose in his imagination to cup her breasts, his body rose right along with them. Those few moments he'd touched her, even through clothes, had branded him permanently it seemed.

_Why?_ he asked himself. _Why am I doing this to her? She's my best friend, someone I've known for years and yet never thought of in this way. Why now?_ Maybe it was because she was hurting, vulnerable and had opened a side of herself to him that even he, who knew her so well, had never seen before. Maybe it was because it was over with Sharon, and he was hurting and needing comfort.

_Sharon_. He'd been in love with her as long as he'd known her, even when she'd been in love with another man. Of course it figured that once she'd turned to him and told him she loved_ him_, she'd ended up being one of the enemy, and had gone back to them and betrayed him. _There's where we have yet something else in common,_ he thought ruefully, mind returning to Kara.

He sighed a few minutes later. This wasn't just going to go away. He had to do something about it. It wasn't like he hadn't gotten himself off in the shower before. Hell, most of the crew probably had, given the strict no-fraternization rules, inability to find privacy for a quick frak and the inability for most of them to have normal relationships, given how frakked up they all were mentally after fighting so long, but his fantasies before had always been about Sharon.

Now as he took himself in hand, surreptitiously glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was around and watching, his thoughts were of Kara; of her creamy-white skin visible in all it's glory; of her body, curved in the most perfect way to fit his large hands; of her tucked firmly against him as he pushed in and out of her, finding all the right places to drive her into a frenzy.

He began to pant and gripped the wall for support as he felt his legs go weak. He was only a few strokes away from finishing when he felt the rush of cold air and the slamming of the hatch that signaled another occupant in the head.

He groaned mentally but kept working himself - most people respected privacy, especially in here, and didn't look too closely to see what anyone was doing. He was close, so close ...

The shower directly behind him turned on. _ Frak!_

"Hey Karl," he heard Kara's voice say. _ Gods - of all people! _His hand stopped dead. He peeked over his shoulder just in time to see her strip off her tanks and bra, exposing the breasts he'd just been imagining to him, nipples rising quickly in the cool air.

His cock jumped in his hand and with one more stroke he was there. He struggled to hold his hips still as his body ached to thrust into her imaginary body as he came hard against the back wall of the shower.

"Hey," he managed to gasp out before drawing in a deep breath and letting go of himself to grab the soap. A few minutes later he'd washed off the wall and himself and was ready to step out. He turned around and the most arousing sight met his eyes.

Kara stood under the spray facing him, hands up working through her hair as shampoo ran down her naked, wet body in multiple rivulets, caressing her breasts as they slid down the supple skin. Her eyes were closed and there was an expression of utter relaxation and happiness on her face - in fact she was looking much the way he'd imagined her just now.

Improbably, he felt himself begin to rise again so he grabbed a towel and covered himself, hoping she wouldn't see what she was doing to him once she opened her eyes.

"See you in the bunkroom," he called out loudly, heading for the exit. Hopefully he could cool off and get himself under control before she showed up. Then he remembered - she was going to be sleeping with him, like she had ever since returning to Galactica.

He sighed loudly as he walked. He was seriously frakked now.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Second Chances - chapter 5**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara frowned - it wasn't like him to take off in such a hurry. Usually he loved to hang around and bug her whenever possible. Maybe something was wrong, or there was something on his mind that was bothering him. She was determined to find out - they weren't friends for nothing.

She wrapped the towel around herself and flung her dirty clothes in the laundry hamper on her way out of the head.

The bunkroom was already dark, save the emergency lighting that allowed her just enough vision to find her locker and grab some clean undies and a tank to sleep in. She pulled them on quickly and walked over to Helo's bunk, frowning at his back. He usually faced her with a welcoming smile, not turned around to face the wall. For a moment she felt a stab of disappointment - _is it me? Did I do something wrong? _she wondered, then she pushed the feeling aside.

"May I?" she whispered softly, partly so as not to disturb the other sleeping pilots, and partly because she was afraid the answer would be no.

He turned and gave her a quick smile. "Of course," he murmured, and flung the blankets aside for her to climb in.

She did, smiling gratefully and puled the covers up, facing him but not touching.

A few minutes went by ... four, perhaps five, but neither of them spoke. She watched him though - not as easy to read from the back as from the front, but the set of his shoulders and the way he was breathing shallowly, almost as if afraid to be heard, she knew he was tense and upset.

She pulled an arm out of the covers and reached over to touch his shoulder but stopped mid-air, debating with herself whether or not she should disturb him since he wasn't making any moves to open up to her the way he usually did when he wanted to talk. _Frak caution, _she told herself._ This is Karl. He's your friend. If something's wrong you should help him._

Her hand continued and she touched his shoulder tentatively. It was burning hot. She drew back quickly, eyes widening. Maybe he wasn't feeling well - perhaps feverish from the feel of him.

"Karl?" she whispered, afraid to touch him again, lest she bother him.

"Mmm?" he mumbled.

"Is something wrong?"

He didn't answer immediately but turned after a few moments to face her.

"Why do you ask?" he asked, turning the tables.

Kara shrugged, or tried to. It was hard to do while laying on her side. "You seem ... upset or something," she said.

"No. I'm fine."

His declaration surprised her. Something was obviously wrong and it wasn't like him to lie and not confide in her.

"Okay," she whispered, hurt feelings rising to the surface immediately. "Goodnight." She turned and faced out into the bunkroom, pulling the covers up over her shoulders.

Helo sighed inwardly. In trying to evade the issue he'd ended up hurting her - something he'd sworn never to do. _ She's been hurt enough times already_, he reminded himself. _She needs a friend, not someone else who seems to care but doesn't really._

He debated internally whether or not to talk to her now or let it go and discuss it in the morning. It was often best not to talk when feelings were raw, but on the other hand, she might be hurting even more by then.

By the time he'd decided to confront her it was too late. Her deep, even breathing told him she was fast asleep. He touched her hair softly, brushing it out of his way and snuggling up a little closer, hoping to let her know without words that he wasn't upset with her.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

He woke with a start from a rather pleasant dream - slightly disturbing though, seeing as how it was rather explicit and involved himself and the woman currently snuggled up against him. Which could explain why the blanket down around his nethers was tented up rather high. He tried to shift positions but as Kara was curled up on his chest, leg thrown over one of his, all it did was rub him against her thigh - her firm, warm thigh. No, that definitely wasn't helping.

He let out a great big sigh as he tried to think of how to remedy things. Only _he _could be stuck in this situation - laying in bed with the woman he was seriously desiring curled up nearly on top of him, yet unable to take advantage of it. It was ironic to say the least, especially when he thought of all the men on the ship who'd be willing to give an arm or a leg to be where he was right now.

But Kara was his friend, and no matter how attractive she was suddenly seeming to him, he loved her too much to push something she didn't want on her. Knowing her, she'd respond in kind with him just because she felt obligated not to hurt _his_ feelings. He chuckled quietly. There were depths to Kara Thrace that not many had ever plumbed; if you were lucky enough to get there, you'd learn a whole lot about her that you'd never suspect from her exterior persona. One thing he'd discovered very early - she was the most loyal person possible. She would do anything for someone she considered a friend. Not just an acquaintance or 'one of the other pilots' but a true friend.

He wasn't aware his hand had been stroking her back gently as he lay there thinking till she stirred against him and moaned softly in her sleep. Her tank had ridden up sometime during the night, leaving her chest bare. Every nerve ending in his body was acutely aware of her nipples pressing hard against him.

His mind told him to stop but his body just wasn't listening. How was it that expression went? - The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak - and boy was his ever when it came to her. One hand continued to caress her bare back while the other sneaked up to her head and twined itself in her hair. A low moan rumbled through his chest at the feel of her, warm and pliant in his arms. _Oh Karl, this is so, so wrong,_ he told himself, knowing he shouldn't be touching her this way but unable to stop himself.

His hand drifted across her back, down her side to lightly caress the side of her breast. A small sigh escaped her lips and she rolled slightly to the side to expose it in it's entirety to him. He stole a glance at her face - she was still sound asleep, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. _Gods help me,_ he prayed as his hand cupped her breast, feeling the hard nipple pressing into his palm.

Another moan came unbidden and it was echoed by hers, a throaty purr that made him even harder. His brain lost all coherent thought and he began to work on pure instinct alone, squeezing harder and rubbing his thumb across the nipple. She began to squirm and whimper, the hand resting on his chest tightening as she tried to hold onto him. The hand in her hair mirrored hers as his fingers dug into the nape of her neck and began to knead. Her body began to shiver as it broke out in goosebumps.

"Mmm ... Sam ... so good ..." she murmured quietly but it was enough to snap him out of his lustful haze. _Gods - what am I doing? _he berated himself, extricating both his hands and pulling her tank back down to cover her exposed skin. _There must be a special hell reserved for people who take advantage of their friends like this, _he thought ruefully, wishing he'd had better control of himself.

She lifted her head and her eyes opened mere slits. "Sam?" she whispered.

"It's okay, go back to sleep," Helo said quietly and thankfully she did, not awake enough to realize she was with him, not her estranged husband.

She rolled off him and curled up in a ball, allowing him the freedom to squeeze as far away from her as possible, the cold metal of the wall against his back helping calm his body quickly.

He spent the remainder of the night just watching her sleep, thoughts and emotions a jumbled mess inside him.

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara woke the next morning to the mattress sagging as Helo climbed over her to get out of the bunk. She kept her eyes closed though, pretending to be asleep so she didn't have to talk yet. She wasn't a morning person at the best of times but this morning she was feeling particularly down.

She'd been dreaming about Sam - intense, sexual dreams like she hadn't had in a long time. And to be honest, she was feeling rather ashamed of herself for still allowing him into her mind and heart after what he'd done.

By the time Helo arrived back after a brief trip to the head, she was up and sitting on the edge of the bunk, looking weary and depressed.

"Kara - you okay?" he asked, sitting slowly down beside her.

She shrugged. "Yeah ... I guess."

His heart hit rock bottom. She knew. Somehow she knew what he'd done to her during the night even though he'd been sure she was asleep. His cheeks burned with embarrassment. He'd spent the rest of the night afterwards wondering exactly how he would tell her, not if - they were friends and if nothing else he owed her that honesty.

"Listen, I'm sorry about last night," he began softly, eyes darting around the room to make sure the other bunks were empty before confessing his sins.

She put a hand on his arm. It was warm, comforting. Their eyes met.

"Hey, it's not your fault I had a bad night's sleep. I was dreaming."

He nodded, eyes slipping to the floor in shame.

"About Sam."

They whipped back up to meet hers, confusion darkening them.

"You were dreaming about _Sam_?" he asked in amazement._ Could it be? Was she aware of what had happened but thought it was all part of a dream?_

"He was ... we were ..." She stopped, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "But considering what he did to me - to all of us, I should be dreaming of shooting him, not ..." She trailed off, knowing he understood what she meant.

He lifted a hand to her face and brushed a stray lock of hair off her temple and tucked it behind her ear.

"It's only natural. You loved him - of course you're not going to let go that easily." His face hardened. "What he did to you was unforgivable but we have to try to remember that he was pushed over the edge. Before that he was someone you loved who made you happy."

Her face softened and a few tears filled her eyes, causing them to sparkle like fresh-cut emeralds. It was at that precise moment it hit him - he'd fallen in love with her. It wasn't just about physical attraction - that could happen between any two people. She was someone who meant more to him than life itself, and he would do anything to make her happy.

She leaned into his shoulder and just breathed quietly, saying nothing for a few moments.

"Thanks," she whispered softly. "How is it you always know just the right thing to say?" She pulled away and looked him in the eye, smiling though sorrow was still etched all over her face.

He shrugged. "Beats me. Just lucky I guess." He stood and reached a hand out to her. "Come on. Our shift starts in twenty. We'd best get moving."

Their eyes locked for a minute and she took his hand, accepting what he was offering her.

"We wouldn't want the CAG kicking our asses because we're late now would be?" she joked, grabbing a fresh uniform from her locker.

"Kicking, kissing, it's all the same thing," he replied, tongue in cheek as he waited for her response.

She didn't disappoint. "Kissing _my_ ass is one thing. I don't know if you want rumours about the CAG kissing_ your_ ass to get out."

"Who said anyone would find out?"

"My silence doesn't come cheap you know," she retorted, then pinched his buttocks.

"Ow!" he howled, turning and fixing her with a semi-nasty glare.

"I was just checking it out," she said innocently, eyes wide. "You _do_ have a nice ass."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You have no idea."

She slapped him playfully. "Come on, let's go."

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee watched as his assistant and lead pilot teased and bantered their way across the hangar bay, eliciting the attention of everyone they passed. It seemed they were both in a good mood, laughing and poking each other in the ribs - pretty much continuing where they'd left off the night before. He wondered if they were aware of the fact that they were flirting with each other, considering everyone else around them was all-too aware of it. _ Just like you and Kara used to be._ The thought came into his mind like a tiny spark, but it ignited a fire of jealousy within him. Kara was _his - they_ were the ones who flirted and played games.

And in that moment he realized a truth he'd buried down deep inside - the reason he'd taken up with Dee was because Kara had turned away from him to focus her attention on someone else, and he couldn't stand being alone, unloved and unwanted. He felt ashamed. That was no reason to begin a relationship with someone - especially someone who didn't mean all that much to you before. Still didn't. He stayed with her for the same reason still - so he wouldn't be alone. And though someone deep inside he knew it was a despicable thing to do, he knew he wouldn't leave her, even though he didn't really love her. He couldn't stand the thought of being alone while Kara had someone else.

"Lieutenant, Captain," he nodded as they walked up smiling happily.

"Morning sir," they both said in unison, then looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Helo, I'm going to need you to stay here this morning."

Helo's eyes narrowed. "What for?"

"We've got a meeting with the Admiral regarding a new combat strategy."

Helo shrugged. "Okay, but I'm supposed to be on CAP this morning."

"That's okay, Starbuck will fill in for you."

Kara wasn't about to protest. Flying was better than maintenance, her original job for that morning, even if it was only a raptor.

"I'll get my flightsuit," she said, turning and jogging back towards crew quarters.

Both men stared after her longingly, each all-too aware of the other's feelings. But instead of bringing them closer, as having something in common should have, it was already creating a huge rift between them - one that was growing larger by the minute.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Second Chances - chapter 6**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

The meeting was uneventful and Helo was bored. The changes the Admiral was proposing were interesting and different but did _he_ really need to be here for the discussion? He was only a pilot after all; though he had the glorified title of assistant CAG, he really didn't have much say in anything. Apollo and the Admiral could easily have made the decisions as to what to change and just let the new info come down the pipe to him like it would to everyone else. So why was he here instead of doing his job?

His eyes met Lee's suddenly and he knew exactly why - Lee was trying to keep him away from Kara. A spark of anger lit inside of him and began to grow, though outwardly he showed no sign of it. How dare he still want her to stay away from other men even though he couldn't have her for himself! Well technically he_ could_, but that would be adultery. And given her fragile emotional state it would be seriously taking advantage of her. _ Not like you didn't try,_ his subconscious reminded him and flooded his cheeks with redness. _It's not going to happen again, _he swore to himself.

"So is everyone okay with the new strategy?" Adama asked, taking off his glasses and placing them down on the desk, a sign that he was done discussing the issue.

Lee nodded brusquely. "Yes sir."

"It looks good to me sir, but don't you think we should get Starbuck's opinion?" Helo watched Lee narrowly as he mentioned Kara's name.

"Why?" Lee asked quickly, face hardening into an unreadable mask.

"Well she _is_ the best pilot among us and has a natural instinct for what works and what doesn't."

Adama regarded him appraisingly. "Good idea Lieutenant. I value her opinion very highly."

"I know you do sir, and with good reason," Helo said.

Lee made a noise that sounded vaguely like a snort.

"You have something to add Major?" Adama turned to Lee questioningly. He knew only too well how tense things were becoming between Lee and Kara and wished he could figure out a way to make them get along again. Unfortunately there didn't seem to be any way for an outsider to influence their relationship - it seemed things always had to go from bad to worse until they reached breaking point, then they duked it out, often literally. It was painful to watch but it seemed to be the only way they could reset their relationship.

Lee had to work at it but he managed to keep the irritation out of his voice. "No sir. I'm sure Starbuck's opinion will be valuable."

"Is she busy? Can we get her down here now?" Adama asked.

"She's on CAP right now - taking my place," Helo supplied, unable to keep the anger out of _his_ voice as he glanced quickly at Lee.

"Is there a problem with that Lieutenant?" Adama asked, raising an eyebrow.

Helo looked at a loss for words momentarily. "I'm just not quite sure why I'm here," he said eventually. "She's far more qualified than I am and would be much more helpful in this position."

"I did originally ask her to fill your position," Adama explained gently. "She refused and suggested you instead."

"Maybe she's crazier than we all think," Lee muttered, only loud enough for Helo to hear, who promptly threw him a dirty look.

"I'm sure she wasn't thinking clearly when she did that," Helo said to Adama. "Her judgment is far better than mine in most circumstances." He chuckled deprecatingly at himself.

"As far as I'm concerned, you've proven your judgment admirably Lieutenant," Adama praised him. Helo's brow furrowed in confusion. "You've asked for the opinion of someone who likely knows more than you do, instead of just trusting your own. That shows you have the humility required to be in a position of authority. Too many people feel that being in charge means they have carte blanche to do things their way without ever consulting anyone else, and they act accordingly."

Lee's insides began to churn. He wasn't quite sure why, since it wasn't a direct insult to his command, but he felt like his father was referring to him somehow. He'd never voiced disapproval with Lee's command style but he still had the feeling that his father's statement, inoffensive as it was on the surface, was a blow being leveled at him.

"Thank you sir," Helo said, obviously basking in his superior officer's praise.

Lee stood. "I'll go make sure a copy of the plans are drawn up for Starbuck for when she returns." He grabbed the sheaf of papers off the table.

Helo stood as well. "So um ... Apollo, what do you want me to do now, seeing as how my shift has been taken?"

Lee looked over at him and paused a moment. "I think we need to write up next week's flight rotation. Perhaps you could get started on that."

Helo's lips pressed together in a tight line, but that was the only sign of his disapproval. "Right away sir."

Adama watched the two men leave together. Together but very separate. All he could see was their retreating backs but their body language spoke loud and clear - two men fighting for the same territory. He sighed. Although he'd given his blessing to Lee and Dee's marriage, he'd always had a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that it wouldn't last - that something would come between them and cause trouble.

Somehow he'd always had the suspicion it would be Kara.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

The two men sat in the CAG's office together, one opposite the other, without speaking for over an hour. The tension however was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

Finally Helo broke the silence, putting his pen down and returning the flight roster clipboard to it's proper place on the left corner of the desk. He looked at his watch.

"CAP's nearly done. I'll go meet Kara and let her know what's up." He pushed back his chair and stood.

Lee never even looked up.

Helo fumed inwardly._ How the hell were they supposed to work as a team when it was obvious Lee couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him?_

Lee's voice cut him like a knife as he reached for the hatch wheel to let himself out.

"You're frakking her aren't you?"

Helo spun around, anger suffusing his face. "What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Kara. You're frakking her, aren't you?"

Helo shook his head incredulously. "I don't know _where_ you got that ridiculous idea from but what business would it be of yours even if I was?"

"You're her superior officer; you know it's against regulations."

"Frak the regulations!" he exploded, turning one shade of red darker. "But we're not, so what does it matter?"

"I've _seen_ you," Lee said condescendingly, voice raising as he stood. "I've seen you together in your bunk, her naked body draped over yours. And you want me to believe you're _not_ frakking her? The most desirable woman in the fleet?"

Helo's eyebrows rose at the last sentence but he said nothing.

Lee flushed. He'd said too much - his usual problem when anger took over his rational side.

A warning klaxon sounded suddenly and both men stiffened. Lee reached for the intercom and switched it to hear the CAP chatter, previously off so they could concentrate on their work.

" ... think I'll be okay to land, but you'll need a fire suppression team ready when I get there."

Both men's faces twisted agonizingly at the sound of Kara's voice.

"Roger that Starbuck. Good luck." Adama's voice sounded much calmer than Kara's. Helo, who knew her only too well, could hear the edge of panic she was trying desperately to hide with the usual 'Starbuck' bravado. But her experiences on New Caprica had left her a changed woman, one who wasn't able to hide her feelings nearly as well as she'd done previously.

He dove for the door and hurtled down the corridors, Lee at his heels, racing to get to the landing bay before Kara did. They both managed to somehow, and stood, panting, side by side as the bay doors opened and a flurry of activity began in earnest as fire suppression and emergency rescue equipment was brought into place for the dangerous landing about to happen.

As he stood there, trying to regain his breath, anger flooded him._ That should be me_, he thought. I _was the one scheduled to be in that raptor. I should be the one in danger now. If it weren't for Apollo's jealousy she wouldn't be in this situation ..._

His eyes narrowed and he glared at Lee. "This is all your fault," he said coldly, voice wavering with anger.

"My fault? _ My _...?" Lee protested, shocked by Helo's accusation. "How could this be _my_ fault?"

"If you hadn't made her take my shift she'd be safely at the other end of the bay doing repairs on her viper, not in a life-threatening position out there."

"Then_ you'd_ be the one in that cockpit now." Lee's voice was cold - almost as cold as the icy blue of his eyes.

"I'd rather it be me!" Helo exploded.

A stinging remark was on the tip of Lee's tongue but at that moment the raptor, rear half aflame, burst into view and it was completely forgotten.

By some miracle, she managed to land it, but it was some time before the hatch was able to be opened, and both Lee and Helo had a good, long view of Kara's white, terrified face as the flames in the interior crept closer and closer to her.

The hatch had to be bent beyond repair but eventually they were able to get her, and the charred body of her former ECO out to safety as they doused the bird in flame-retardant chemicals.

"I'm fine, really," she said shakily to the attendant as she pulled off her helmet. Something flying towards her out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. It was Helo, running full-tilt at her, but before she had a chance to move out of his way, he'd grabbed her around the waist and was kissing her passionately.

She stood stock-still, dazed for a moment and still shaken by her experience. Her lack of response didn't stop Helo though - he kept kissing her like there was no tomorrow, allowing the release of his fear and anger to be channeled into loving her. Eventually he pulled back and his hands cupped her face, stroking the sweaty strands of hair that had escaped her perfect ponytail.

"I almost lost you ... my gods I almost lost you!" he repeated, against and again, nuzzling her face as if to reassure himself that she was really okay.

Her body began to shake uncontrollably as the adrenaline levels dropped drastically and the closeness of the call she'd just had sank in. She began sobbing and her knees buckled. Helo read the signs though and caught her as she crumpled down, both landing hard on their knees on the deck. She cried into his chest as his long arms encircled her and held her tightly. He said nothing, just held her, allowing her to finally release much of the pain, sorrow and fear she'd held inside for so long.

Adama stood beside Lee, having arrived just in time to see the landing. He looked on at the scene playing out in front of him and felt great sorrow at how broken the usually strong woman in front of him now was. Despite all her talk of what had transpired on New Caprica, there was obviously much more that she'd kept locked inside. He was glad though, that she had someone to comfort had and help her through this tough time, while at the same time having mixed feelings about two officers who worked so closely together having such a close personal relationship as well.

He stole a quick glance at his son. Lee's lips were pressed together and his face was set stubbornly. To one who didn't know him as well as Adama did, he looked angry. But he knew better ... it was sorrow, loss. At one time _he_ would have been the one to be there for Kara, before the irreparable rift grew between them. And Lee was mourning that loss._ We all made our decisions, now we have to live with them_, he thought ruefully, knowing that for some people the consequences of those decisions was something they'd never counted on having to face._ It's a tough life, he thought, mind coming back to his son. And only going to get tougher._

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Second Chances - chapter 7**

**oooooooooooooooo**

Kara had been whisked away to Lifestation while Lee and Helo had been left to deal with what remained of her raptor. It was their job, along with Tyrol's to figure out why the raptor had burst into flame to make sure it didn't happen again.

It wasn't till much later, suppertime in fact, that she and Helo were reunited. He was waiting for her when she re-entered her cubicle after a much-needed bathroom break.

"Hey," he said, face lighting up in an uncomplicated smile as he saw her.

"Hey," she smiled weakly, hauling herself back up on the bed as gracefully as possible.

Helo's heart pounded. She wasn't looking at him. In fact her eyes were darting around everywhere but him. His heart sank like a wounded bird - he'd screwed up with her, showing her too much too soon and now it was likely their friendship was going to suffer form his inability to keep his heart off his sleeve.

"How are you doing?" he asked, keeping his voice even with great effort.

She glanced over at him and gave him a tight smile. "Okay. Just a little smoke inhalation but the doc won't let me go yet."

"Well that's good news ... I mean, that it's not serious." He smiled. "I'm sure the doc will chuck you out when he's sick and tired of you."

She smiled briefly at his attempt at humour, then things became uncomfortably silent again.

Helo cleared his throat a few moments later. "About earlier," he began, feeling his cheeks grow warm as he tried to figure out how to explain to her that he didn't want anything other than friendship from her. "it was just ... I mean ... I was glad to see you and all ... you're my closest friend and I was scared I'd lost you ... but really it didn't mean ..." He stammered to a stop, not knowing what else to say to stop digging himself into the hole he was beginning to feel trapped in.

Kara shook her head. "Of course it wasn't ... I mean I know you never meant ..."

"No, no, it was just as a friend, really."

She smiled weakly, an almost embarrassed look on her face. "I never thought ..."

"Of course you didn't," he said, cheeks flaming as he rose from the bedside. "I've um ... got work to do so I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," she said in a small voice, glancing up then looking away again quickly as her fingers worked nervously with the sheet.

"Let me know when the doc lets you go."

"Sure."

He patted her shoulder clumsily. "See ya."

She let out a long, slow breath as he walked away. Her heart felt like it was made of stone. Odd, since near-escapes usually fired her adrenaline and made living that much more intense, knowing she'd cheated death and come out the winner.

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

_Frak, frak, frak! _Helo chastised himself as he walked the corridors with no destination in mind, just needing to get away from her and the horrible situation they were now embroiled in. _What the hell is wrong with me? Yes, I have feelings for her - always have - but letting go like that? Especially in front of everyone, including Apollo and the Old Man? What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't, _he answered himself ._ I was going on pure instinct there and the thought of losing her ... _His eyes began to tear up and he brushed them away roughly. No need to have _that_ to explain as well as what he'd already done. He knew the next time he met up with either Apollo or Adama, he was going to be forced to explain his actions. And _that_ wasn't going to be any fun at all.

But there was something nagging at him that he just couldn't quite put his finger on somehow. Something about his talk with Kara ...

They'd discussed it - he'd been afraid in a way that she'd just pretend it never happened - and though he'd made sure to pull it back a few notches to get her to understand he wasn't pressuring her for more, and she seemed to understand, there was something that just wasn't right. Something about the look in her eyes ... and the lack of a look. It wasn't like her to hide from him ...

**oooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Try as she might, she just couldn't seem to bring her mood out of the dumps. There was something that was just weighing her down and until she figured out what it was and tackled it, she had the feeling she'd be stuck in this blue funk._ Strange - I felt better and more hopeful after my knee injury, even though I wasn't sure I was even going to walk again ... Now I feel terrible even though it's nothing serious. What the frak is wrong with me?_

She brushed at the tears in her eyes as Cottle entered the cubicle. No need to have him see her breaking down - he'd keep her here forever!

"You okay?" he asked, picking up the clipboard and checking it.

"Fine. Just tired," she said, by way of explaining why she was busily rubbing her eyes.

"Well then go hit your rack and get some sleep. I can't see any reason to keep you here."

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed but didn't get up.

"What are you waiting for - a fanfare? Scoot!"

She gave him an irritated look. "My clothes?"

"What about them?"

"I'm not walking around the ship in _this!_"

He smirked. "Come on Captain, it's very becoming."

"I am NOT walking Galactica's corridors with my butt hanging out the back of a medical gown!" she said indignantly.

He chuckled and handed her a pile of clothes from a locker nearby. "You've no sense of adventure Captain," he murmured with a smirk.

She bit back the retort on the tip of her tongue, lest he keep her here longer.

"Every time I have adventures I end up here doc. Are you really so eager for me to come back so soon?" she said sweetly instead.

"Good point." he put the clipboard down. "Try to take it easy and get some rest. You're off duty for forty-eight hours."

"Yes sir," she said, beginning to untie her gown as he turned to walk away.

Her flightsuit, having been somewhat scorched by the flames, had already been disposed of so she only had a pair of cargos and her tanks to put on. They reeked of smoke. She shook out her hair and pulled it to her face - it reeked of smoke as well.

"Oh well, guess it's time to hit the showers," she sighed, as she headed for living quarters.

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

He sat in his office pretending to work, every nerve at breaking pitch after the scene that had played itself out earlier that day. He was half wishing Helo would turn up so he could give him the 'I told you so - you've been lying to me about your feelings' speech he'd rehearsed in his head a few dozen times but he really wasn't sure how he could without sounding like a jealous asshole.

Kara's near-death experience had affected him deeply too, and while she may have had plenty of them on New Caprica when he wasn't around, witnessing her in a life-threatening situation now, when he could do nothing to help her made his heart pound painfully and dredged up all the feelings he'd thought he'd successfully put away forever. It seemed that no matter how hard he'd pretended to let go and move on, there _was_ still something there.

He still loved her.

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

He walked around the flight deck, checking and rechecking maintenance schedules, trying to make sure another accident like this didn't happen anytime soon. A crew was working on the raptor Kara had been flying but there were easily ten more plus two dozen vipers that needed to be checked.

"Did you need something Lieutenant?" Helo heard a voice calling out behind him. He spun around to face the Chief.

"Not really ... I'm just feeling kind of antsy after today's accident." he shrugged apologetically and smiled briefly. "I just needed to feel like I was doing something useful, you know?"

Tyrol nodded, defensive attitude dropping away instantly. He hated when people questioned his ability to keep his birds in the air safely, but he also knew how people felt when something went wrong on their shift and they nearly lost someone dear to them.

"I know what you mean. I have to confess," he said softly, coming closer so only Helo could hear, "I'm puzzled about what happened out there today."

"Your crew hasn't figured it out yet?" Helo spoke just as softly, leaning down confidentially.

Tyrol shook his head. "That's just it - we've checked all the possible faults that could have caused this sort of accident and none of them were responsible. It's a mystery."

Helo's eyebrows drew together. "I don't like the sound of that."

Their eyes met. "I'll continue my checks and see if perhaps something more ... unorthodox was responsible."

"Do that. Find out what caused this to happen."

Tyrol nodded.

"And I want you to report it to me, understood? Only to me."

"You don't want me to tell Apollo?"

"He's a busy man. I'll take charge of this and if there's anything he or the Admiral need to know, I'll pass it along. Let's just keep the information in as tight a loop as possible so no rumours end up leaking, alright?"

"You got it."

Helo clapped him on the shoulder. "Good man."

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

She toweled her hair one more time before tossing the towel into the laundry bin. Still damp - well, she might hate going to bed with her hair wet, especially now that it was longer, but at least it smelled good, not like smoke and charred metal. She shuddered - that smell was one she was really not keen on remembering.

She pulled on her t-shirt and running shorts and headed back to the bunkroom to get some sleep, climbing into her bunk and pulling the blankets up to cover her chilled body. Helo wasn't there yet - probably still working - and she missed his body heat which warmed her much quicker than the covers ever did.

She tossed and turned for a while, unable to get the images and feelings of her close-call out of her mind. She trembled, remembering how close the flames had come before they'd managed to get her out. She'd never been afraid to die in battle but standing helpless, wathcing death creep closer and closer was soemthing she now knew was utterly terrifying.

She finally fell into a troubled sleep, body still shivering with cold and shock, and the dreams came. Dreams of Zak and his fateful accident that she hadn't seen but had pictured in her mind a thousand times. Dreams of Lee, floating out in space, slowly letting the air out of his suit. Dreams of Sam, turning against her and leaving her at the cylons mercy ...

**oooooooooooooooooo**

Helo came into the bunkroom a few hours later, weary and with a large headache from checking, double-checking, cross-checking ... So far everything seemed in order with the ships he'd scoured, but he still felt a little uneasy about Kara and what their conversation hadn't held.

He could make out her body curled up in her bunk and was thankful that she was able to get some rest. Every time he looked at her his emotions went into a tailspin. he knew he should be nothing more than a friend to her since that's what she needed, but he couldn't help feeling a twinge of desire, imagining how the passion she poured into everything she did would feel if it were directed at him.

He forced himself to look away as he undressed and decided he'd best sleep in his own bunk, lest his burgeoning feelings get out of control and he do something stupid that couldn't be taken back once it was done. The kiss had been hard enough to explain away, he didn't need it to get any worse.

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

She stirred in her sleep, yet again, as the restless, pain-filled dreams consumed her. She woke suddenly at the climax of terror, eyes snapping wide open and arms instinctively feeling around for Helo's comforting presence and not finding it. She sat up, bringing her arms around her knees and hugging her shivering body, heart still pounding. She could see him in the dim light, soundly sleeping in his own bunk.

A lump began to grow in her throat and she felt herself choking up - he didn't want to be with her anymore.

She began to cry quietly, trying to keep as silent as possible so as not to wake the others. Soon sobs wracked her body though and she couldn't stop the pain and anguish she felt from leaking out.

She startled as a warm hand placed itself on her back.

"Kara, what's wrong?" Helo's gentle, concerned voice found her ears through her sobs.

She couldn't speak - couldn't even begin to formulate words to explain her pain, especially to him.

He tried to pull her into his arms but she flinched away - he was only trying to comfort her because he felt obligated to.

"Kara, talk to me. tell me what's bothering you." He put a finger under her chin and lifted it to face him.

She began to speak but it came out a series of disjointed sounds and hiccups. Bodies began to stir in the other bunks.

"It's okay, just a nightmare," Helo called out to them, tucking himself and Kara further into her bunk and drawing the curtains. "What is the matter? You know if you need me I'll always be there."

She couldn't resist his sad eyes and hurt look.

"You weren't sleeping with me!" she choked out and began sobbing again. "You don't want to be with me anymore!"

He sat back, stunned for a moment, then cupped her face in his large hands. "Don't you believe that for a second!" he said fiercely.

"You weren't here with me." she said in a small voice, sniffling. She knew she sounded like a whiny child but didn't care.

"It wasn't because I didn't want to be. Gods no Kara," he said, heartfelt emotion spilling out.

She met his eyes. "Then why?" she whispered.

He took a deep breath and steeled himself. This was it - he owed her the truth. Maybe their friendship would end because of it, but what kind of a friendship was it if they couldn't be honest with one another? Was it even worth keeping then?

"Because I'm in love with you."

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Second Chances - chapter 8**

**oooooooooooooooooo**

Kara blinked, absolutely stunned. Not a single word came to mind.

"You're what?" she said weakly, head spinning. She closed her eyes and pressed the heels of her palms hard against them to alleviate the dizziness she was beginning to feel.

"Are you okay?" he said, worry evident in his voice.

She pulled her hands away from her face and saw nothing but spots for a few seconds.

"I'm fine," she whispered. "Just a little dizzy."

"Should I get the Doc?"

"No, I'm fine," she said, a little more firmly. "Just surprised."

Helo blushed and looked down.

She watched him for a moment before speaking. "Did you mean it?" she whispered.

He looked up, meeting her eyes, but didn't answer.

"That you're in love with me?" she prompted.

He exhaled softly. "Yes," he answered simply.

"What ... how... I mean ... I thought you were in love with Sharon?"

His face hardened at the mention of her name and Kara felt her heart constrict at the pain she was causing him. She knew what Sharon had done to betray him had been equally as painful as what Sam had done to her, even though he'd not spoken of it to her after the first time. She'd always assumed that was why he'd clung so hared to her - partly because _she'd_ needed the comfort and partly because_ he_ had and had known she would be the only one who could understand. She never suspected that he had ... well, feelings for her, other than friendship. They'd always been just friends, Kara and Karl, Starbuck and Helo ... there had never been any hint of anything more in all the time they'd known each other.

"I was," he said softly, after a pause. "Or I _thought_ I was ... now I'm really not sure how I felt about her."

"Ever since I came to Galactica all you ever did was pine after her and talk about her even though she was with the Chief back then."

"Maybe the reason I fell for her was because you weren't around," he whispered, almost surprised as though the idea had never occurred to him before.

"So you mean you loved me before that?" Kara drew her legs up and folded her arms around them protectively, unconsciously putting up her defences as things got too close to her heart.

He shook his head. "I don't know Kara. I just don't know," he said, obviously frustrated. "You were my friend ... we've been friends since our first class together with Major Robinson and I guess I just never thought of you as anything more than ... just a friend."

"You still remember that?" she asked, green eyes wistful and wide.

"Of course I remember. It was one of the best days of my life."

Her eyes grew wider still.

"I never told you but I was terrified when I first went to the Academy. I mean, I wanted to go but I wasn't sure what to expect and it seemed like everyone from Caprica knew each other ..." He paused a moment and gave her a piercing look. "It wasn't till I made that connection with you that I felt like I belonged there. LIke I finally had a friend."

"I know what you mean," she whispered reflectively, eyes staring as though lost in the past. "Not everyone from Caprica knew each other ... I didn't have any friends there in the beginning either."

He reached a hand out and touched her arm. "Aren't all good relationships built on having a solid friendship first? You couldn't ask for anything better than what we've already got could you?"

His eyes searched hers and found only doubt and confusion.

"I ... I just don't know Karl. Yes, we do have a great friendship and it's something I've always treasured," she said softly. "But us being more? I guess it's just never really occurred to me before."

He sighed. Oh well, it wasn't like he'd expected her to leap into his arms and declare her undying love for him, but if there was at least a possibility ...

He removed his hand. "It's okay, I don't expect anything from you Kara - no pressure. I'll always be here as your friend, you know that."

"I know," she whispered, close to tears, green eyes clouding over darkly.

"I should probably ..." He stood awkwardly, eyes darting around the room. " ... sleep in my own bunk from now on. I'll still be here if you have dreams but maybe it's best if we keep a little further apart."

She nodded, gulping over the growing lump in her throat.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." He turned and climbed into his own bunk without looking back.

She lay down slowly, clutching the covers tight against her chest. The bed felt strangely empty without him there. Or maybe that was just her heart ...

**ooooooooooooooooo**

The next day passed by uneventfully. Helo was up and gone before she woke, having had the early morning shift, so she didn't have to face him ... something she was grateful for. Their talk the night before ... his admission that he loved her was almost more than she could deal with. It wasn't like she hadn't had guys be interested in her, or even tell her they loved her - mainly to get into her pants though - but Helo fell into a totally different category. He was her friend ... not just some guy looking for a good time. He'd always been her friend, right from the time they'd first met, and there had never been a hint of anything more. Maybe that was why she'd always trusted him implicitly - she knew he'd never come on to her the way most men did.

But now all that was changing. And on top of the feelings she was already dealing with regarding Sam and his betrayal of her, it was more than she could handle. So avoiding him for a while was probably the best plan. Give herself a chance to heal before throwing herself into the next situation headfirst._ Seems like that's what my life is all about,_ she thought ruefully as she dressed for the day. _One crisis after another ..._

The hangar bay was relatively quiet when she got there, definitely a plus if she was going to do some soul searching while filling her shift with maintenance work.

"Captain," she heard suddenly from behind her as she lay prone beneath a raptor.

"Sir," she said stiffly, already hearing the question in Lee's voice.

"What are you doing here today?" He made no move to help her up but let her lie on her back on the dolly.

"Well, since the Doc has grounded me, I'm not flying," she answered, unable to resist using sarcasm with him.

"I thought the whole point of you being grounded was to make sure there was no permanent damage from your accident," he said, just as sarcastically.

She smiled. "I would presume so. But I can't just sit around in my bunk all day. I have to do _something_ ... so I thought I'd help out here. There are always birds that need fixing."

"True."

"And if I don't feel well I'll head down to Lifestation, okay?"

He studied her for a moment. "Fine."

There was an awkward silence for a moment as they stared at one another, then Kara slid back under the ship, signaling that the conversation was over as far as she was concerned.

Lee sighed and walked away. It saddened him but for some reason he just didn't seem to be able to talk to her anymore. She was a different person than she'd been before leaving for new Caprica - one it seemed he really didn't know at all. But then again he himself had changed quite a bit in the time she'd been gone too, and the space that had always existed between them - just enough to keep them from doing something they'd regret afterwards - had grown to a vast chasm and he wasn't sure how to bridge it ... if that was even possible.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

She wiped the sweat from her brow as she dumped the tools she'd been using into the cleaning bin at the end of her shift.

"Thanks Cap'n," Tyrol said her way, interrupting himself for a moment from his conversation with another mechanic. "Good work today."

She threw him a mock salute and smiled, peeling back her orange jumpsuit to reveal sweaty tanks.

"Time to hit the showers, or do you want to make a detour to the gym first?"

Her back prickled - she hadn't noticed Helo come over from the other side of the hangar bay.

She bit her lip. "I uh ... don't really feel like it today."

"Come on Kara, I'll go easy on you," Helo added, bending down and pretending to give her a one-two jab in the ribs.

"No, really I just don't feel like it Karl."

The playful look dropped and his face took on a worried expression. "Are you okay?" He put a hand on her shoulder and she shivered involuntarily. "Do you need to see the Doc?"

"I'm fine," she answered, a trifle huffily. "I just don't feel like working out okay?"

She pulled away from him and walked ahead a few strides.

He stopped and sighed. "Okay," he muttered almost under his breath, heart plummeting.

Lee, who had been watching this exchange from the other side of the closest viper came forward to join him.

"You okay Helo? You look a bit down," he offered, trying to get the other man to open up.

Helo glanced at him and gave him what was meant to be a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just tired - didn't sleep much last night."

Lee nodded, pretending to go along with him. The smile had done anything but reassure, and it was as plain as day to anyone with eyes that it was his relationship with Kara that was troubling him.

The two of them walked in silence for a time, until they were alone in a less busy corridor.

"You told her didn't you?" Lee asked quietly.

Helo turned a puzzled face to him. "Told who? What?"

"Kara. You told her you loved her didn't you?"

Helo flushed and looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come off it Helo, it's as plain as day. You're in love with her. You're not doing a very good job of hiding it."

Helo's mouth opened as if to protest, but then shut again soundlessly, not knowing what to say.

"I'll bet she didn't take it very well," Lee continued.

Helo let out a great big sigh. "No. She didn't," he said flatly.

Lee smiled sympathetically. "She doesn't do emotional things very well, especially not this sort of thing."

Helo stopped walking and studied him curiously for a moment. "Have _you_ ever told her you love her?"

Lee flushed. "I have a wife."

"That's not what I asked," Helo said pointedly.

"I love my wife."

"What about _before _you married her? I know I wasn't here during the first months after the attacks but I've heard enough to know you two were close. _Very_ close."

Lee closed his eyes and sighed. Helo was far too tenacious - his callsign should have been Bulldog given his ability to hold onto something and not let it go.

"There was a time when I thought perhaps ... but it passed and I was wrong."

"Did you ever tell her you loved her?" Helo asked, more gently now.

Lee's eyes grew glassy as he remembered the moment on the Astral Queen with regret.

"Yes," he answered softly. "But she didn't take it well."

Helo exhaled softly. He'd suspected as much.

"It was the beginning of the end for us," Lee continued. "She didn't think I was serious and I ... I was too afraid to push it. You know, given the relationship she had with Zak I just thought maybe it wasn't appropriate for us ..."

"I'm sure that wasn't the case," Helo said. "I saw the way she used to look at you ... there were feelings there."

"_Were_. They're not now. Kara and I were over before we ever began."

"And you both moved on to other partners." Helo couldn't help but see the flash of jealousy in Lee's eyes before he masked it. It was definitely time to be ending this conversation. "And that's that."

Lee seemed to pick up on Helo's growing discomfort. "That's that," he echoed. "I should get going. I've got lots to do."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Helo said absently, then seemed to snap back into the moment. "I'll see you tomorrow Apollo."

"Yeah." Lee's eyes held his for a minute, seeming to search them for something. "Good luck," he added.

The moment lingered. "Thanks," Helo finally said and he made the decision that had been wavering inside him throughout their conversation - he needed to talk to Kara. Again.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Second Chances - Chapter 9**

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

He searched the ship, worry growing in the pit of his stomach when he couldn't find her in any of her usual haunts. He felt certain that he'd find her either in her bunk or on the flight deck somewhere near her viper. Flying was the one thing she found comfort and strength in - the one thing in her life she could control completely, even when it seemed she was out of control much of the time while in the cockpit. Sometimes he wondered if perhaps she felt most comfortable in the inky blackness of space because it matched the feelings in her soul. He knew 'Starbuck' was just a facade and that inside Kara was a very complex, depressed person who tucked away her hurts and suffering, never to let them show till they multiplied to the point where they bubbled over and she exploded, usually doing something damaging to herself. He was afraid his declaration of love was the last straw that might have pushed her over the edge, given her experience on New Caprica, and who knew how many other hurts she'd been hiding for how long.

He was beginning to panic and was almost ready to go to CIC to have them check the logs for an unauthorized launch when an idea struck him as he passed the observation lounge door. This was as close to the stars as she could get without actually going out there.

He tried the hatch and stepped in near silently. The room was empty - the days when CAP had given 'performances' for the civvies was long gone and fuel wasn't wasted on such frivolous activities any longer. Occasionally it was used for meetings but mostly it stood empty.

His eyes did a wide scan and discovered her curled up in a ball alongside the picture window. She didn't turn to face him as he approached but perhaps that was because she hadn't heard him.

The warning bells went off in his head as he saw the three-quarters empty bottle of ambrosia. How had she ...? She'd only been maybe a half hour ahead of him and yet she'd already polished off most of a bottle.

"Kara," he said in an even, measured tone so as not to scare her. His heart however, was pounding out of his chest.

She didn't look at him but the stiffening of her spine told him she was aware of his presence.

"Kara," he repeated, standing stock still.

"What do you want Karl?" she said quietly, words slightly slurred.

"I want to know you're okay," he answered, moving to sit against the window, facing her. She was in her 'protective' pose - arms crossed around her raised knees. Her eyes slid his way. They were red and swollen.

"Okay is a relative term."

He smirked inwardly. Even three parts drunk she was still difficult.

"I want to know you're not going to do anything to hurt yourself," he said gently.

She stared at him a moment - his eyes were like pools of liquid, beckoning her to dive in and never leave. She shuddered. _This_ was why she had to stay away from him. All the feelings of comfort and happiness she'd thought were friendship were rapidly turning to something much more fierce and demanding. Desire ... lust ... love? She didn't know which, but the affirmation that he loved her had opened up gates in her heart she hadn't even known existed before then. The feelings hidden deep within had been buried so long she wasn't even aware of them till they began to rush out at a speed greater than she could handle. On top of everything else, they were just too much.

"Do you count getting drunk as hurting myself?"

"Not as long as you let me stay and keep an eye on you," he responded with a tentative smile.

She smiled back and the gates inside opened wider, leaving her just that much more vulnerable.

She passed the bottle to him. "Finish it before I do."

He nodded, butterflies taking over his stomach. He'd never been good at holding his alcohol and he knew only too well that this much would get him drunk easily. He'd learned the hard way that not drinking was the best way to keep a hold of himself - he had a habit of losing control and ignoring his inner inhibitions when drunk. But if he didn't finish it, Kara would, and _she_ was notorious for being self-destructive when she'd had too much. He opened it and took a swig, wincing as the harsh liquid burned his throat. He'd given up drinking years earlier, only having slipped once - when he learned of Sharon's betrayal.

They sat in silence as they stared at the stars, Helo often stealing glimpses of Kara unobtrusively. She was definitely miserable, there was no mistaking that. It was as though only the sight of her beloved stars was enough to allow her to open up and show all that she normally kept hidden, and he marveled at the sight. Even he, who knew her so well had never seen her mobile face filled with such poignant emotion.

"Talk to me Kara," he whispered. "You can tell me anything."

"Anything?" she whispered back a few seconds later.

"Anything."

A few tears fell soundlessly down her cheeks. "Where did I go wrong?"

He had no idea how to respond to that, if he even should. He waited, assuming it was meant to be rhetorical.

"How did I screw up so badly that no one wants me?"

_Hardly no one,_ he thought. I_ want you, and regardless of what Apollo says, there's no mistaking the wistful tone in his voice when he speaks of you, nor the hungry look in his eyes when he watches you._

"That's not true," he said instead, knowing she needed calm and rational discussion and trying to force his now-foggy brain to cooperate.

She faced him, a look of agony on her face. "They say they want me but they all end up leaving me. Lee did - he went and married someone else. Sam did - he sold me out to the cylons, the bastard."

Karl echoed that last one silently. If he ever laid eyes on Sam again ... well there would be no telling what harm he'd cause the man who hurt his Kara.

The tears continued to fall. "You married someone else." The words were barely audible, as though they'd escaped surreptitiously.

He blushed. "You weren't here Kara. I've always had feelings for you, right back to our Academy days, but you chose to stay and I left. And though we tried to keep in touch, it's hard to maintain any kind of relationship, even just as friends, from that far apart." He looked out at the stars. "Then the next thing you told me was that you and Zak were something serious and I thought my chances with you were gone." He looked back at her directly. "You never said so much but the way you were talking sounded like you were planning a future together."

"He did ask me to marry him," she said softly, heart aching at the pain on his face.

"So if he hadn't had that accident you'd be married to _him_," he pointed out gently. "And then I'd have _had_ to find someone else."

"But he did die in that crash ... and ever since I just haven't been able to make it work with anyone. No one else loves me the way he did." A fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks and she sniffled.

He reached across the gap between them and took her hands in his own. "Maybe that's because you won't let yourself love completely. Maybe a part of you just isn't ready to let go yet."

"And maybe I'm just unlovable."

He knelt before her and cupped her face. "Don't say that. Don't even _think_ it." Her eyes, cloudy with pain, broke his heart. "_I _love you."

She searched his face, eyes traveling back and forth between his eyes and mouth.

"Show me," she whispered.

His eyebrows raised.

She pulled a hand free and touched his face softly. "Show me you love me."

It was as though Helo was watching himself act. His brain was shouting 'no' but his heart, soul and body was begging him to say yes and show her just how much he wanted and loved her.

He leaned forward and joined his lips with hers and all thoughts of propriety left him. He wanted this. Had wanted it for so long ... and he was only human after all.

She knelt before him in only her underwear and bra, Karl having helped her remove her flightsuit and wet clothing beneath.

Their mouths played, danced, stroked and caressed each other's slowly and tentatively, exploring the unfamiliar territory carefully so as not to rush things. She tasted sweet, of the liquid she'd been indulging in, and though he'd never been that fond of the taste, mixed with the taste of her he found it heavenly.

He stopped the kiss, pulling back to look at her tenderly. The pain was still visible in her eyes but he could see something else there now as well ... want.

He began at her hand and lightly stroked his fingertips up her arm, watching intently as the goosebumps caused the fine hairs there to stand on end. She shivered and let out a small moan, increasing his desire a hundredfold. The other hand slid around her neck, cupping the back of her head and bringing it back to his mouth. She melted into him, arms encircling his waist and pulling his body against her.

Soon they were naked and lying on the floor, their clothes a pillow against the hard metal. He'd touched and kissed every inch of her body and by the time he made it back to her mouth she was making small whimpering noises and reaching for him hungrily. He continued to go slowly, allowing her to set the pace so he didn't cause her any pain, physical or otherwise.

She rolled them over so she was on top, sinking herself down on him with a breathy moan. He put a hand on each hip and helped guide her as she began to slide up and down on him.

It didn't take her long to reach her first orgasm and Helo watched with a smile as she bit her lip and threw her head back, body shuddering with pleasure.

As she relaxed and looked back down at him, he reached up a hand and stroked her cheek gently. She smiled down at him and began to move slowly again, changing the angle slightly so as to hit the spot inside her just a little differently. The second came quickly and though she wanted to bring him with her, she couldn't hold back and came hard, scraping her fingernails along his chest.

When she was done he rolled them back over so he was on top and began a slow, steady rhythm rocking in and out of her, just a little harder each time. He knew it wasn't going to last long but he was determined to make sure she came again, having imagined many times what it would be like for them to achieve ecstasy together. It came quickly for him but she wasn't quite ready so he moved slightly in order to reach a hand down and stroke her firmly at her centre. She jumped as the sensations surged from there to her fingertips and toes, body arching into his as they came together.

He slid slowly off her and gathered her in his arms, head resting on his chest. One hand held her back firmly while the other stroked her hair gently. He knew this couldn't last - firstly this was a public place ... without a lock, and secondly, if they stayed too long they'd fall asleep and being found sleeping naked on the floor of the observation lounge wouldn't do much for either of their careers. But he needed this moment - this time to just hold her before the reality of what they'd done set in. He knew already that it had been a mistake to give in to temptation and that she would likely regret it in the harsh light of reality once she was sober.

Her heavy, even breathing alerted him to the fact that she was falling asleep so he stopped stroking and instead shook her shoulder gently.

"We need to go," he whispered, loathe to break the mood.

She snuggled closer. "I love you," she murmured.

His heart did a backflip - _she loved him._ Then it went cold. Who was it she was saying I love you to - was it him she was thinking of ... or someone else?

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Second Chances - chapter 10**

**ooooooooooooooo**

She opened her eyes groggily, realizing someone was trying rather vigorously to wake her.

"Kara, Kara, wake up. Come on."

She blinked several times. It was Helo.

"Go 'way, let me sleep," she murmured, trying to roll over and pull the blanket over her head. The realization hit her suddenly as she reached down and got nothing but a fistful of naked body - she and Helo were naked on the floor, no blankets, and what she'd just thought was a dream must have really happened.

She sat up quickly and backed away from him, reaching frantically for her clothes.

"Kara, it's okay," he said softly, reaching out to her.

"No, it's not okay," she answered, pulling on her underwear and bra with shaking hands. "We shouldn't have ... I shouldn't have ..."

He stepped in front of her and held her arms firmly. "I'm sorry," he began, catching her eyes and holding them. "You're right, we shouldn't have done that, but you know I'd never hurt you Kara. I only did it because I love you."

Her vision greyed suddenly and she was seven years old again, nursing a broken arm in a newly-plastered cast.

_"I'm sorry I hurt you baby, but you know I did it for your own good. You can't go throwing stones and breaking things. That's a bad girl. I'm trying to teach you how to be a good girl because I love you." _

Her mother's tempers had always resulted in Kara being injured ... emotionally and usually physically as well. An apology always followed later when she was a sober along with an 'I love you'.

Another flash - she was twelve years old ...

_"You little slut! Kissing a boy? Do you know what kissing leads to? Do you?" Kara knew - she'd peeked in on her mother and her boyfriends on occasion and had discovered exactly what kissing led to. "You let boys touch you and before you know it - boom! You're pregnant and stuck with a snot-nosed whiny little brat of a child you don't want, just like I was." No mom, I'll never be like you - I'll never let a boy touch me just so I don't have to be alone ... like you do. "I'm going to have to punish you. Yes, it's going to hurt but it's a lesson you need to learn girlie. It's important that you suffer now in order to learn how to be good."_

That episode had landed Kara in the hospital with a broken collarbone, broken nose and a severe concussion. Her mother had told the doctors she'd fallen down the stairs outside the house and landed headfirst on the cement below. She'd apologized to Kara later, using the same phrase - 'I didn't mean to hurt you, it was only because I love you'.

Kara pulled away from Helo instinctively, seeing his face and her mother's swimming and merging before her. She knew only one thing ... she had to get away. He'd said he loved her and that he'd only done what he'd done because he loved her. But there was one fundamental truth in Kara Thrace's life that she'd learned early and had been a constant ever since.

Love hurt.

She didn't need it, didn't want it. Solitude, while much lonelier, didn't hurt. She needed to get away from him. To be alone.

"I need to go," she insisted, yanking her arms away from him.

"Kara, please," he begged, trying to get her to understand.

"I need to go Karl," she said more insistently this time, pulling on her outer clothes.

"Can we talk about this?" he asked softly.

She met his eyes briefly - all he could see in them was fear. "Later. I need to be alone. Please." She was so very near tears, and while he'd often been the one to comfort her when she'd cried, she just couldn't turn to him this time. He was the cause of the problem.

"Promise?" he begged, grabbing her hand and forcing her to stay just a few seconds longer. "I don't want this to spoil our friendship."

She shook her head, afraid to speak lest the tears start flowing freely. She pulled away and fled the room, yanking the hatch shut behind her.

Helo scrubbed his hands through his hair violently. "What have I done? What the hell have I done?" he asked himself sadly. _I guess I wasn't the one she was thinking of when she said she loved me,_ he thought, heart plummeting to the deck in sorrow.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

Attention to his reports was rudely interrupted by the sudden clang of a hatch somewhere in front of him. Lee looked up to see Kara take off like a thousand hounds were chasing her. A pain assaulted his chest as he saw her lift an arm and wipe her eyes.

She was crying.

He stopped dead and slammed the binder shut, reports now forgotten. The hatch opened again. Helo stepped out. The expression on his face was one of extreme sorrow, and his clothes and hair were mussed up.

Lee added two and two together and didn't like the sum he arrived at.

His eyes narrowed to slits and his heart began to pound angrily.

"Helo!" he called to the man whose back was to him as he walked away. In the second it took Helo to turn around, Lee was directly in front of him, laying him flat on the deck as his fist connected with Helo's nose.

"You bastard!" he said, voice low but trembling with barely held fury. "How dare you?"

He tucked his binder under his arm and sprinted away in the direction Kara had gone minutes earlier, hoping he could find her. He felt sure he knew her well enough to know where she'd go when in an emotional upheaval.

Half an hour later, still having not found her, he decided to go back and confront Helo. Not that punching him hadn't felt good, but he needed to find out why the hell the frakhead had laid a hand on Kara when she obviously hadn't wanted it.

He found him easily - in the head cleaning up the mess Lee had made of his face. The look of venom Helo shot his way when he entered would have stopped any other man in his tracks - but not Lee. He was a man on a mission.

"Clear the room," he demanded, his eyes and Helo's still holding each other's in a fierce, furious gaze.

"Captain, are you going to be okay?" someone bravely asked Helo.

"I'll be fine," he said, drawing himself up proudly, despite the small trickle of blood flowing out of his nose. "You heard the Major. Everyone out!"

Several minutes later the last of the pilots left, grumbling at being interrupted mid-shower.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Lee asked, voice low but deadly.

"I could ask you the same thing, _sir_."

Lee frowned - it seemed Helo wasn't feeling any regret over what he'd done - the man was standing tall and proud, as though_ he_ was the one who'd been wounded.

"How dare you touch Kara!" Lee exploded, anger spilling out like a tidal wave.

"What the hell ...?" Helo's brows drew together in confusion. "Last time we talked you told me I should tell her how I feel. You encouraged me to go for it and try to start something with her. Now suddenly it's not okay? Who the hell are you to be jealous of what I do with Kara? It's not like she's _your_ wife or girlfriend."

"It's my business when you touch her against her will. You're a sick, twisted bastard if you think loving someone means you can take advantage of them. I should lock you up and throw away the key." Lee's words were charged with emotion and it was easy to see that though he might say he didn't love Kara anymore those words were a lie.

For a brief second, before anger took over, Helo felt sorry for Dee. It must be hell to be married to someone who was in love with someone else.

"You think I touched her without her consent? I would never hurt Kara. _Never_!"

Lee put his hands on his waist. "Then explain to me why I saw her running away from you, crying, while you look like you've just been frakked to within an inch of your life. How is it possible for the two of you to have been together by mutual consent if she's running away crying afterwards?"

Helo buried his face in his hands. "It's not like that."

"Then tell me how it _is_," Lee challenged.

Helo wiped the back of his hand under his rose, removing the last of the blood. His eyes roamed the room for a minute then came back to meet Lee's, only sadness left now that the anger had dissipated.

"She asked me ... she wanted ... " He sighed. "She initiated it. I shouldn't have responded but you know how it is when there's something you want more than anything and it's just offered up before you on a silver platter? It's so hard to say no."

Lee grunted in assent.

"She was drunk. Nothing new in that, but she was in full self-loathing mode. You know the one?"

Lee nodded. "Uh huh."

"She kept saying no one loved her, everyone betrayed her and turned away from her, and then suddenly she just begged me ..."

"Begged you?" Lee asked, one eyebrow cocked.

"I told her I loved her and all she wanted was for me to show her."

Lee groaned and closed his eyes. What a frakwit he'd been to jump to conclusions! Of course Kara had been willing - then she'd regretted it afterwards. That was Kara all over - she thought with her heart and then once her brain was engaged she realized she'd made a mistake and the instinct to flee took over.

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry Helo."

Helo managed a weak smile. "It's okay." He rubbed his nose gingerly.

"I shouldn't have hit you or said the things I did."

"At least you were doing it to defend Kara. I might not appreciate your actions but at least your motives were worthy."

Lee held out his hand. "Friends?"

Helo shook it warmly. "Friends. Just promise me one thing."

"Name it."

"Don't jump to conclusions about me and Kara again, regardless of what the situation looks like. I would never willingly hurt her - not for anything. She's my closest friend and I love her, both as a friend and more. I honestly had no idea I was doing the wrong thing and once I realized it ... well, it was too late. I promise I'll be more careful in the future. I don't want to hurt her or scare her away again."

"Promise. Can you promise me something?" Lee asked in return.

"Name it."

Lee took a deep breath. "Don't ever tell Kara how I feel about her. I've tried to stop loving her but I just can't. It's over between us though and I need to move on and pretend I don't feel what I do. It's not fair to Dee."

"No, it isn't. But I know what it's like, loving someone even though you know you shouldn't. I'll keep your secret."

The two men's eyes met in understanding.

"Do you want me to talk to her for you?" Lee offered. "Clear things up?"

Helo shook his head. "I don't think either of us would have much success right now. We need to give her some time."

Lee clapped Helo on the shoulder. "The offer stands. If you want me to talk to her, anytime, just let me know."

Helo smiled. "Thanks."

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara sat, arms hugging her knees tightly, on her bunk. She was still shaking and had had difficulty drawing the curtains for privacy.

Flashes of the past - of things she'd thought long buried were resurfacing, terrifying enough when they'd actually happened but almost worse now as she was experiencing them again all together instead of separate incidents like before.

She felt like the scared little girl she'd been when her mother had taken out her tempers on her. The difference now was that she didn't have to put on a brave face and pretend it didn't hurt. Her mother had always been annoyed at Kara's apparent lack of response when she'd beaten her, and that had been Kara's only weapon. There was no other way she could fight back so she stubbornly refused to admit or show that what her mother was doing to her hurt. She'd vowed not to give her that satisfaction.

Now however, she sat alone in the small space, tears raining down her face as the memories swept over her one by one.

_'I love you sweetie. I'm only doing this for your own good.'_

_'If I don't teach you this lesson now, you'll never learn it, and what kind of parent would I be then?'_

_'This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.'_

_'I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you.'_

_'You're a screw-up. You always have been, you always will be. You should never have been born.'_

She shook her head violently to rid herself of these images._ No, it's different with Karl - he really does love me. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. He's been my friend for so many years - always been there when I needed him. He's never hurt me before, why would he start now?_

She wanted to believe it - wanted desperately to believe it. She and Karl - a couple? It was honestly something she'd never thought of until he'd confessed how he felt. And though she still found the idea a little unfamiliar, the more she thought about it the more she'd been warming to it. Karl was a good man. Faithful to the end. Not like the other men she'd loved and given her heart to who'd walked away and left her lost and alone. Zak might have been different - but he'd died, and since then she'd managed to screw up her life royally. Lee - things might have worked out for them, had there not been so much emotional baggage attached to their relationship. Sam - he'd been the biggest mistake of her life.

She had no intentions of giving her heart away again unless she was damn certain it wasn't going to be broken. But Karl would never do that, would he?

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Second Chances - chapter 11**

**ooooooooooooo**

The next several days were torture. Helo stayed as far away from Kara as he could, desperately hoping she wouldn't interpret his coolness as regret for their actions of the other day, but knowing there was nothing he could say to make it right. Kara needed time - pushing her never worked, he knew that from experience. _She_ had to be the one to initiate the discussion or it just wouldn't happen.

He'd stolen glances at her in the mess and the bunkroom when there were lots of others around and she wouldn't catch him staring. She was upset - he who knew her better than anyone could see it a mile away but she was hiding it well from everyone else. She did her rotations, her maintenance, her paperwork ... even showed up in the pilots rec for a game of cards one night, seemingly in good spirits, but Helo could see the uncertainty and fear behind her eyes and he cursed himself for being the one to have put it there._ Apollo did a fair job of that before I came along,_ he reminded himself, _and Anders, that frakking son of a bitch, is the one who destroyed her trust in everyone and everything after what he did to her. If he wasn't dead, I swear I'd ..._

"Helo, yoohoo, anyone home?"

He shook his head, suddenly realizing someone had been calling his name.

"Sorry, guess I was daydreaming," he apologized, focusing his attention on Tyrol who was standing in front of him with a clipboard in his hand.

"I hope it was a good one," Tyrol muttered grumpily. "I need your signature on these requisitions."

Helo signed the sheets absently, not even reading them the way he usually did.

Tyrol gave him a suspicious look - Helo was normally such a stickler for routine that he'd always read everything through to make sure there were no errors. He took his job seriously and tried to make sure nothing slipped by him inadvertently. Obviously whatever was on his mind was something big.

"You know, if you want to talk about it ..." he offered, shrugging lightly.

Helo smiled weakly. "It's okay Chief. Just got a lot on my mind and I haven't had much sleep. Not a good combination for paying attention."

Tyrol rubbed his stubbly face. "Yeah, I know what you mean about the not sleeping."

"Nicky keeping you up at night?" Helo asked sympathetically, feeling a pain in his heart as he thought of his daughter.

"You have no idea," Tyrol replied, rolling his eyes and tucking the clipboard under his arm. "I swear he's got nighttime colic - screams from 2300 to 0600 every frakking night!"

Helo put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Just don't end up on my bad side," Tyrol advised with a smile. "Cally tells me I'm a real bear when I haven't had enough sleep."

"I believe it!" Helo laughed. "I'll do my best."

"See you later Captain."

"Later Chief."

As Helo turned to leave the hangar deck he crashed heavily into someone.

"I'm so sorry," he began, extending an arm to help whoever it was up.

"Watch where you're frakking going!" Kara spat out angrily, then she realized who it was. "Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly, blushing to the roots of her hair.

"Looks like someone _else_ didn't get enough sleep either," Tyrol put in sarcastically, raising his eyebrows at her foul language.

"Frak off Chief," she said without looking at him.

He put up his arms in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm outta here."

Kara got up without taking Helo's outstretched arm. "Sorry, I didn't mean ..."

"No, it's my fault," Helo interrupted. "I should have watched where I was going."

"I should have been paying attention," she said self-consciously, crossing her arms in front of her. "I'm sorry."

He reached out and gripped her arms. "It's okay Kara. Don't worry about it."

The moment was charged - he held on as if he'd never let go ... and Kara didn't want him to.

"I should ... probably go," she said finally, blush deepening, if that was even possible. "I'm on CAP now and I really ..."

" ... shouldn't be late," he finished for her, letting go reluctantly.

"I'll see you later," she said softly, breaking eye contact and walking past him.

"Kara," Helo called quietly after her.

She turned around.

Silence.

"See you later," he said finally, beating himself up inside for not saying what he really wanted to and instead just staring stupidly at her._ I am such a frakking wuss! _he told himself as he walked away._ All I wanted to do was ask her to talk later - how hard would that have been? But no ... I just stand there tongue tied like an idiot._ He smacked himself on the forehead as he hit the corridor that led to the officer's quarters.

**oooooooooooooo**

Her heart pounded as she walked away._ I could have stayed and talked to him longer,_ she berated herself as she climbed the stairs to her Viper. But the atmosphere between them was so tense she just couldn't seem to be with him for more than a minute or two without feeling so uncomfortable she had to bolt. Maybe three hours in the cockpit would do her good - force her to think about the situation and face her changing feelings without being able to run.

"Ready Starbuck?"

Frak, it was Lee.

"Apollo? I thought Hotdog was flying my wing today."

"Not anymore. He came down with that flu that's been going around and the Chief told me very adamantly that he has no intention of spending eight hours scraping the puke out of Hotdog's cockpit."

"Huh."

"So you're stuck with me, being the only available pilot today."

"Lucky me," she said dryly, knowing he was aware she was just teasing.

"Lucky you indeed," he retorted, repressed laughter in his voice.

"Lead on Major," she said, looking across to his ship and smiling. Being with Lee was usually something she found somewhat tense, given the history between them, but perhaps this was just the distraction she needed today.

CAP went well - Apollo and Starbuck flew together like a well-oiled machine, as always, Sunglasses in the Raptor behind figuring so little in the conversation so as to not even be there. Mind you that wasn't too surprising - most people had trouble following Apollo and Starbuck's conversations. They were like climbing a ladder with half the rungs missing - miss a leap and you fell backwards, hopelessly lost, never to catch up again.

A couple of uneventful hours later, Kara felt herself relaxing, both mentally and physically. She was able to think of Karl, of their intimacy a few days earlier, without beginning to hyperventilate. That was a good first step. But she needed to be able to see the whole picture, to understand why what had happened had, and whether or not it should again. She'd always been the type to jump first and look later but after screwing up with Lee and being burnt by Sam she was ready for a change of tactics. It was time to take things slowly, to try to understand before jumping in with both feet. To overthink things in fact - something Lee was a master at.

"Kara!" His voice was sharp, authoritative.

"What, what?" She flushed, realizing he'd been calling her several times. He only ever used her name out here when he was worried or frustrated.

"You're not paying attention." Full accusation in his voice.

Her flush deepened. "Sorry. I let my mind wander a bit, you know, because it's _so_ exciting out here." She bit her lip after the words came out, expecting a harsh reprisal. Lee rarely appreciated sarcasm when he was in a bad mood.

"So where'd it go?" he asked, a trace of amusement now evident.

"Where'd what go?"

"Your mind. You said you let it wander. Where'd it go?"

She grinned. "Just revisiting the past."

"Long past?"

"Recent past."

"I see."

Kara flushed again, even though she had no idea what it was Lee was referring to. Surely he didn't know about her and Helo ... did he? How could he? He hadn't even been there. And Helo wouldn't have told Lee about them would he? She felt sure he wouldn't have. He wasn't the sort to brag about his conquests, nor was he the type to confide in people. And he and Lee weren't exactly best buddies either, not from what she'd seen.

"Maybe you should stop thinking about the past and go with your gut instincts," Lee said carefully.

"What makes you say that? And what the hell are you talking about Apollo?" she asked curiously.

He chose his words carefully, both for Kara's sake and for those listening in to the CAP chatter, so it wouldn't end up a nasty rumour before they'd even landed.

"It's just obvious there's something on your mind. If you're letting yourself dwell on the past - something that's not really like you - I'm guessing it's because there's something there you don't want to repeat. Go with your gut instincts - they usually take you to the right place."

"What if they don't?" Her voice was quiet, almost fearful.

"If you don't try you'll never know," he answered gently. "And then you might be missing out on something you'll regret later."

_I swear he's talking about me and Karl, she thought. But how does he know? And why is he encouraging me to go for it?_

Her mobile face screwed up in a frown. "Thanks for the advice Apollo."

"Any time Starbuck."

She stole a glance at him, just catching a glimpse of his lit face in the darkness. It was completely in earnest - he wasn't joking around with her.

"Hmmm."

They were silent for the rest of CAP and for the routine checks afterwards.

"You wanna go grab a bite to eat?" Lee offered, wandering over to where Kara was kneeling down under her Viper.

"No, I need a shower first," she said, showing him her greasy arms and face. She patted the underbelly of her bird. "She needed a little work and now I'm a wee bit dirty."

"That you are," Lee said, face screwing up in a humorous grimace. "Get lost then. I'll catch you later."

"See you," she called out after him, wiping the sweat from her brow and wincing as her fingers caught in the greasy, tangled hair on her forehead. "Yuck. Definitely shower time."

She walked briskly towards the officer's quarters feeling the sweat dripping down her back under her tanks. She shuddered - she couldn't wait to get under the hot, powerful spray to wash all the grime and sweat off her body. She never used to mind being dirty but for some reason after New Caprica she'd had much more of a desire to be clean and nice smelling than she'd ever had before.

She walked into the head, hearing a few other showers going full blast, and pulling off her flightsuit, boots landing in the corner as she undressed. Her tanks and shorts followed quickly, leaving her in nothing but a sweaty bra and underpants. She walked into one of the stalls and turned on the water, heat full on, and stood there, eyes closed, already savouring the enjoyment she was about to feel.

She stripped off her remaining clothes and stepped into the water, sighing happily as the only luxury left to mankind embraced her fully. She spun around, allowing the shower to wet her completely, feeling the water dripping off her hair, down her back and also over her forehead. Using a hand to wipe the water out of her eyes, she opened them to find Helo in the shower directly opposite - also fully naked and wet.

His eyes met hers at the very same moment and she felt a bolt of electricity travel up her spine and throughout the rest of her body. She could see in his eyes that he felt it as well.

As if of their own accord her feet took her across the room and into his stall.

"Kara," he whispered, voice hoarse, from what she wasn't sure but the response his body was having to her proximity gave her to suspect it was from repressed desire.

She put a finger up over her lips. "We talk later," she whispered, and pressed her body against his, beginning to kiss him passionately.

For about a second Helo tried to resist but his body betrayed him yet again. His hands stole around her waist and pulled her closer as his lips feverishly closed over hers.

"Later, you promise," he panted out between kisses.

"I promise," she whispered. "I want this Karl. I know I do. I'm not drunk and I'm not half-asleep. I want this. I want you."

His heart felt like it would explode. Finally, after all this time ... he locked the words deep in his heart. Even if he never heard any others from her at least he had these.

The shower continued to run, water seeming colder and colder as their bodies heated each other's rapidly. Eventually the water did run cold, but neither of them noticed, so engrossed they were in each other ...

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Second Chances - chapter 12**

**oooooooooooooooo**

He felt her body heaving against his as she sought to bring herself under control. He shifted slightly and allowed himself to slide out of her, gently lowering her to the ground so as not to scrape her back on the wall.

She kept a tight grip on him, burying her face in his chest as his warm arms surrounded her.

"We should get cleaned up and dressed," Helo whispered in her ear, resting his cheek against her wet, cold hair.

Kara nodded but didn't loosen her grip.

Helo smiled. "We can take this somewhere else you know. Somewhere _private_."

She sighed. "I guess ..." and pulled away, eyes meeting his for just a fraction of a second before she turned away and stepped under the spray.

Helo's heart did a backflip or two. He wasn't sure quite what he'd seen in her eyes but at least this time it wasn't regret or shame.

Five minutes later they were both washed, dried, dressed and brushed and ready to head out.

He touched Kara's hand briefly as she turned to go the other way. "This way," he said softly.

Her brow creased. "Aren't we going to the bunkroom?"

"No privacy there," he answered. "I have a better place we can go to talk with no interruptions."

She allowed him to lead her without question and eventually they ended up in a supply closet near the aft hangar bay. The plan was for it to be a museum once Galactica was dry-docked for good but it had been pressed into service when needed, as had the antique ships themselves. Most of the supplies were still stored in the main hangar area and this room was all but bare, only housing a few of the necessities that were required on a more regular basis.

Helo shut the hatch behind them and flipped on the light. Kara sat down on a crate. There was silence between them.

"You said we were going to talk after," he prompted quietly. "So let's talk."

She nodded, biting her lip gently. It was all fine and good to promise to talk when everything was crystal-clear in her head but somehow transferring those thoughts to her mouth had confused things somewhat and now she wasn't quite sure what to say.

"Karl, I ..." she began hesitantly.

"Don't say it," he interrupted, voice harsh to hide the tears. There was desperate sorrow in his eyes.

"No Karl, it's not like that. I'm not going to tell you I don't want you because I do." She got up and walked over to where he was standing. "I care for you and I _do_ want to be with you," she said softly, placing a hand on his chest. "I just want to explain how I feel and what I want and well ..." Her gaze dropped to the floor. "You know how hard it is for me to talk about feelings."

A wry smile broke out on his face. "I seem to recall prying the truth out of you with a crowbar before."

She punched him playfully and met his eyes again.

He shrugged. "Well it's true. The crowbar may have been mental but it was still there."

She smiled. "I know."

He led her back to the crate and they both sat, her right hand and his left entwined.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Helo said, turning his head to face her. "We're friends first before anything else and you know I won't be mad or get upset at anything you say."

She smiled at him. "I know."

He stroked her hand with his thumb, fingers still tightly entwined.

"I guess I'm just a little ... scared. Relationships don't seem to go well for me and I'm afraid I'm going to screw this up."

Helo smiled. "You're not going to screw anything up Kara. You know I won't let you."

She sighed. "Yeah I know, but look at the way all of my relationships have ended - Zak died, Sam died ... Lee and I ended up not talking for a while and our friendship kind of went down the tubes. And he and I never even got anywhere - I think we were both too afraid to go anywhere with our feelings and ..."

"And so you just ended up angry at each other," he finished, knowing where she was going already.

She squeezed his hand, grateful for his understanding. "I don't want us to end up like that," she whispered.

"We won't," he assured her, squeezing back. "We have a good solid foundation and nothing is going to change that."

"i thought Lee and I did too," she admitted, eyes sadly dark, "but when things didn't work out that friendship seemed to dissolve."

"You and I have been friends a lot longer than you and Lee were, and we don't have Zak standing between us. No matter how much both of you might think you've forgiven and put it behind you, Zak will always be there at the back of your minds, reminding you of why you shouldn't be together."

"You think we shouldn't have been together because of him?"

"I didn't say that. I think it's a difficult situation to be in, and knowing you, you've never completely gotten over him, and knowing Apollo he probably felt like he was betraying his brother by being with you."

She studied him for a moment. "You're probably right."

"Of course I'm right."

Kara tried to suppress a smile but the harder she tried the more it pulled at her mouth till she was not only grinning but chuckling as well.

"Now that's better," Helo said, smiling back at her.

The smile pulled at her heart and compelled her to be completely honest with him. "Can we take things slowly?" she asked. "I know I'm the one who started ... things today and the last time ... but I want us to be more than just frak buddies. You deserve better than that."

He lifted their joined hands and stroked her cheek. "So do you. Take as much time as you need. I'll always be here."

She leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. "Thank you," she whispered against his mouth.

His hand let go of hers and stole around to twine itself in the hair at the nape of her neck.

"I love you Kara and I'll wait as long as it takes. As long as you don't push me away I'll be happy."

He returned her kiss and they began a long, slow, sensual exploration of each other's mouths, very unlike the frenzied kisses they'd shared previously. This one spoke of promise and faith and patience and was exactly what Kara needed.

Some time later they broke apart for air.

"Maybe we should consider grabbing a bite to eat." Helo glanced at his watch. "The mess is closing in half an hour. Let's get some dinner before it's too late."

"Sounds good," Kara agreed. "I'm hungry."

He walked over to the hatch and opened it, sweeping a hand down in a grand, chivalrous gesture.

Kara laughed loudly and punched him as she walked by. "Get a life Agathon."

He pretended to be offended. "Sure, you try to be a gentleman and all you get is a punch in the chest and a barrage of insults."

They both burst out laughing as they began their journey back to the heart of the ship. A few corridors away from the mess they ran into Lee in the hallway.

"Hey Kara, Helo," he said carefully, noting both of their easy smiles and realizing it was their laughter he'd been hearing as he walked.

"Hey Lee," Kara smiled.

"Apollo." Helo inclined his head slightly in a nod.

"You two ... okay?" Lee ventured hesitantly.

Kara looked at Helo. He looked back. They both smiled and Kara slipped her hand into his.

"Yeah, we're okay," she answered, broad grin lighting her face.

Lee smiled warmly. "I'm glad." His eyes traveled back and forth between them. "Take care and I'll see you in the morning."

"See you Apollo."

"Bye." Kara's eyes met Lee's and her heart felt ten times bigger at the happiness she saw in them. Until that moment she hadn't realized how much she'd wanted Lee's approval for her to get out of the rut they'd always been stuck in and move forward.

Kara squeezed Helo's hand as Lee walked out of earshot. "Thanks for being willing to give me another chance."

"Everyone deserves a second chance Thrace. Even you," he teased, smiling down at her.

"I'm pretty sure this is at least my third or fourth," she admitted, smiling back.

He pulled her into a hug. "Well I guess the gods must think you're pretty special then." He kissed the top of her head. "And so do I."

She hugged him fiercely. "When I say my prayers tonight remind me to thank the gods for second chances. And thirds, and fourths ..."

_ fin _

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who's been faithfully reading this story, and especially to those who've left me such kind feedback. I know the Kara/Karl 'ship isn't a popular one and to be honest it didn't strike me right away either but in the past 7 months since I began the story I've come to appreciate the relationship between them greatly and see the possibility for more. Thanks for being open-minded enough to try out something different and for being so positively vocal about it. I'm glad to know that I've gotten others to challenge themselves and try something a little different than the normal Kara/Lee 'ship and that some of you have enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!


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